Originally posted: Thursday, June 10, 2010
Peacemaker or Pushover?
"We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." This is a quote from author and Holocaust survivor Elie Wielsel. It is one of my favorite quotes. It states something so simple that it's often not obvious.
I realize it's a bold quote for my subject today--and it doesn't quite fit exactly, but it is ringing in my head.
In my extended family (my immediate family of origin is just my mother and me) the general rule to live by is "peace at any cost". This was my grandmother's feeling. The idea of peace at any cost makes me cringe. It's also a fallacy. Basically it says "peace on the outside is more important than peace on the inside".
I want to write at length, but I also want to hold my new daughter and watch her sleep, and get a load of laundry done, so I'll make it quick...
Is it healthy to give someone else peace at the cost of your own?
Is it healthy to bend to someone else's wish if it brings them joy---but brings you strife or stress?
Where is the line? Does it depend on just how much strife it gives you?
I am struggling with this... I don't want to be the bad guy--- the one who is unwilling to bend and labeled the asshole. But... I also feel I've come to a point where I am unwilling to bend and then live with the yucky feeling that comes with it.
Every year I get older I think I'll be closer to not caring what people think. I don't think I am even close to that place!
I realize I've been vague, but if you have thoughts on the subject, let 'em out...
I realize it's a bold quote for my subject today--and it doesn't quite fit exactly, but it is ringing in my head.
In my extended family (my immediate family of origin is just my mother and me) the general rule to live by is "peace at any cost". This was my grandmother's feeling. The idea of peace at any cost makes me cringe. It's also a fallacy. Basically it says "peace on the outside is more important than peace on the inside".
I want to write at length, but I also want to hold my new daughter and watch her sleep, and get a load of laundry done, so I'll make it quick...
Is it healthy to give someone else peace at the cost of your own?
Is it healthy to bend to someone else's wish if it brings them joy---but brings you strife or stress?
Where is the line? Does it depend on just how much strife it gives you?
I am struggling with this... I don't want to be the bad guy--- the one who is unwilling to bend and labeled the asshole. But... I also feel I've come to a point where I am unwilling to bend and then live with the yucky feeling that comes with it.
Every year I get older I think I'll be closer to not caring what people think. I don't think I am even close to that place!
I realize I've been vague, but if you have thoughts on the subject, let 'em out...
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