Book Club pays off!

My oldest daughter and I were invited to a book club.

The book club is based on the book Her Next Chapter.  From the website for the book:

 Her Next Chapter shows mothers how to form mother-daughter book clubs that provide a vehicle for teaching media literacy to girls so that they learn to think critically about their lives as females.Our book is about more than issues—it is about solutions! It outlines precisely how mothers can work both together and individually to build girls’ confidence and lessen the negative impact of media on self-image. Mothers and other important adults in the lives of girls will learn to identify and understand eight of the biggest challenges facing girls and women in the US and around the world, and how to use carefully chosen female-centric books, movies, videos and activities as side doors into crucial conversations about growing up female.

So, we talked about Hannah in the book and how she is told math isn't for girls and there's no need for her to continue studying it--even though she is a math prodigy.  It was an awesome night and I am so happy to be part of the club.

But--here is the first payoff:

2 weeks later, we were visiting family a few hours away.  My 2 year old son was drinking out of a pink Minnie Mouse cup.  His 7 yr old cousins asked me, "Why is he drinking out of a girl cup?"  I said, "Well, it's just a cup, it's for anyone who is thristy."  And my husband, ever the feminist said, "It's not a girl's cup-- it's for anyone who likes Minnie Mouse."  To which the hostess replied, "Well, it's pink and girly--it's a girl's cup."  And we let it fizzle.

But on the way home, I turned to my 8 year old daughter and asked her, "Based on what we talk about at book club... I mean.. what do you think of what Aunt X said about the Minnie Mouse cup?"

She got a twinkle in her eye, puffed up, and said, "Well, I think Aunt X was making a gender stereotype!"

SCORE.

How Do you want to be remembered?

So this is a question a lot of older people get asked when they are being interviewed.

I don't fully know how I'd answer that, but today a piece of it came to me...

"I'd like to be remembered as someone people felt they could be their real selves with, whether they knew me 5 minutes or 5 years".

Being Uncomfortable

I heard last week on NPR that the primary feeling associated with the act of compassion is... discomfort.

It was an epiphany for me.

Since becoming a parent 8+ years ago, I recognize that my biggest weakness is probably compassion.  I like to keep things moving, I can't stand constant whining and crying... I'm constantly reminding myself to take a breath and dig deep for compassion.

But this revelation makes so much sense... the act of compassion usually triggers discomfort.

I hate being uncomfortable.  Okay, I mean, everyone does, sure.  But... I can't seem to do a plank for 60 seconds not because it's painful but I just don't like the feeling, so I stop.   I actively avoid discomfort where I can.  That's not a life well lived.  A good life includes discomfort which is almost always a side effect of growth.  I certainly don't want to stop growing.

So, here's to a little discomfort going a long way.

Learning my Daughter

I realized today... my oldest child (8 yrs) hates authority. Like-- yes, no kids enjoy authority, but she naturally hates it. There are very few teachers she likes, which is surprising because she is a good student, creative, avid reader, puts forth lots of effort.

And I wonder if this is because she is not seen for who she is inside versus on the outside. She identifies as an introvert. Maybe it's just some instinct--maybe she just she craves exploring things on her own.

I asked her today, "If you could have any type of lesson: dance, gymnastics, flute, piano, karate, anything... what would you pick?"

"Nothing." she said, "I'd pick going home and doing my own thing alone. I hate teachers telling me what to do."

I said, "But this would be a new teacher and different group of kids."

"I don't want ANOTHER teacher telling me what to do."

Very interesting conversation, wanted to get it all down.

Lucky Girl (me)

9 months up, 9 YEARS down.

I'm always torn about celebrating weight loss.  Yes, yes, yes, we want people to be healthy.
But is that really what most people are celebrating?  It seems to me most people are celebrating how someone LOOKS.  And I don't want to contribute to that celebration when there so much hard stuff we not only don't celebrate, but want women to shut up about.  (Birth is hard, nursing is hard, we like to talk about it!)
That said, losing weight can be tough work.  And for me, it was tough... and slow... and frustrating.  But certainly not even in the top 3-5 hardest obstacles I've overcome in the almost 9 years since I became a mom.

I found out I was pregnant in November 2006.  Now it's November 2015.

You know what they say... 9 months up... 9... years?... down.  Ah, well!

As I told my kids, I finally decided it was time for me to lose all the extra weight I  put on during 3 pregnancies because I couldn't swing all the fun physical tricks I used to do in my performing days.  I wanted to feel agile again.  It took knowing I was done having babies, and being done breastfeeding to finally feel motivated enough.

What did I do? Honestly?  I just ate less.  A lot less. About half of what I was eating.  I haven't been exercising nearly as much as I'd like, but I tracked my eating on My Fitness Pal every day from Dec 1- July 1 and then I just mentally tracked.  I didn't restrict any type of food.  (Though I have been a vegetarian since 2008).  Stopped eating 3-5 hrs before bed each night.  That's all.  Easier aid than done, but nothing complicated on paper.

I've lost 39 pounds in 11 months.

Here is me last year on my 35th birthday and today on my 36th... I'm about 75% of the way to my goal):

Here's to hard work and strength and joy! 

Time versus money

There is a new IKEA Christmas commercial out this year. It'll have you in tears.  Basically, they ask kids to write letters to Santa  asking for what they want then they ask them to write ,enters to their parents asking for what they want.  Almost all the kids ask their parents for more time together, dinner together, playing together, one whole entire day together.  Then they ask the kids if you could only give one of those letters, which would you give, and they say the one to their parents.

I cried.

But I thought about our family.  We spend a lot of time together. We have dinner every single night together.  We have family movie night ever single Friday and family breakfast every single Sunday morning.  We often spend an entire weekend just us, or at least one of the two days.

And so I'm not sure what my kids would write.  Because the complaints I hear from my oldest is that we don't have as nice of a car as her friends (it's 15 yrs old) or "we never do anything" or "why don't  we go out to dinner more" or "everyone else goes to Disney more than us", and so on.  She doesn't even always complain about this negatively, sometimes she is just curious.  Like when everyone gets those books at the Scolastic book fair at school that have the jewelry attached (ugh, those are like $12 for a flimsy book and bracelet and we could go to Claire's and get something better for less) and we tell her if she she wants something she has to use her own money.

This is the deal.

But... Watching that commercial, I feel validated, I feel like it's worth it to lack these things because obviously kids really just want their home and family and TIME.  We have two old cars that we wish we could replace, windows in our house are 35 yrs old and need replacing, I wish I could enroll my kids in dance lessons, we have the tightest budget of anyone in our inner and outer circles we know.  But... We aren't over scheduled.  We eat dinner together every night.  I know the names of everyone in all of my kids classes and see their teachers regularly.  I'm home to deal with sick kids or random stuff that comes up so we aren't sent into stressful chaos when a wrench is thrown.  I'm here.  It's a trade off for sure and it's a fine line... I won't say I don't get envious of new cars and dance lessons, but... I treasure knowing that the trade off translates into a calmer, more minimalist life, and (I hope) stronger relationships.

The snag is this... The kids who do have all that...usually don't realize what a great deal they have... They DO want the stuff! ;)

Cinderellas and Ugly Stepsisters

My 5 year old tells me no one will let her play with them at recess.

This daughter of mine has such a great attitude and personality, I envy it.

She is by nature very positive... Usually when you give her bad news, she immediately spins it to find a way to continue on with happiness.

Once, when she was 3, she asked her dad how a smoke detector works.  He said, "If there's smoke, it warns us by making a loud noise."  She looked up at her dad and said, "I love loud noises!"

Sure, she is prone to meltdown, gets tired easily... But in general, accepts people for who they are, never judges, and is open and willing to try new things.  This is all more impressive to me, because that is not necessarily how her older sister operates, so she isn't mimicking anyone here!

And no one will play with her? She saw 3 girls playing Cinderella and asked if she could join.  "No, you can't" ....she asked to join boys, more girls... Everyone said no.  It happened again today. My daughter, ever the optimist, made a funny joke: "I know! I'll just say to them, "Hey how about we play Cinderella? I'll do all the work and you can say mean things to me."  I should write this down as her first official stand-up set.

We had a long talk lastnight about this. Really long.

Here's what I came up with...

There are two kinds of people in the world... Cinderellas and Ugly Stepsisters.  Who do you want to be?  Ugly Stepsisters make people feel bad, they don't say thank you, they leave Cinderella out, they don't care about other people, and in the end no one likes them.  Cinderellas are kind even when people are mean to them, even when they are left out and have to eat their dinner all alone, even when they are sad they are kind, and in the end, they find love.

Be kind, even if people aren't nice to you. Don't let other people turn you into an Ugly Stepsister.  Stay a Cinderella.  Now, don't give away your friendship to someone who doesn't deserve it... Give your friendship to those who are deserving.  But... To those who are not?  Be kind.  Don't let them take away your magic.

A Full Circle Moment

This year my daughter started Kindergarten at XXX School.  Starting Kindergarten is one of those milestones that feels big, because somehow, the first day of Kindergarten seems to mark a leap ahead in the growing up process.  I can even remember going off to Kindergarten at Cohen Hillel Academy in Massachusetts in 1985... I wore mismatched socks to be like Punky Brewster and one of those plastic charm necklaces where the charms clipped on and off and you could trade with friends.  And jelly shoes... Of course jelly shoes.  My teacher was Mrs. Reiss Baker and I remember she talked to us with a very kind voice and I loved listening to her read us stories.

My daughter loves her teacher this year. Ms. Lewis has tons of energy and is getting them passionate about reading.  A few weeks into the year, our monthly PJ Library book arrived.  My kindergartener opened it, looked at the pictures and handed it to me, "Read it, mommy!"

I opened my mouth to read the title, and staring back at me, right there on the cover... "by Sharon Reiss Baker". What?! I did what anyone would do in 2015... I Googled her! Yep, she wrote it!  I read the book to my daughter and got a little teary-eyed.  I explained to her, "Do you know who wrote this book? My kindergarten teacher!  And here you are, my little kindergartener, reading a book written by your mommy's kindergarten teacher!"  That night, I used the email Google found on her writer's website and wrote to Mrs. Reiss Baker.  She replied the very next day and within her lovely letter said, "I loved seeing the picture of your daughter.  You do know that she looks incredibly like you as a kindergartener, right? In other words, adorable."

Oh, also? She told me I could call her "Sharon" now.  I guess I'm all grown up.

32 Questions I asked Daddy: By Zoe

I asked my oldest, Zoe (8), to interview her Daddy.  I am typing his answers as she asks...

maybe at a later date she can interview me and Dad can type my responses in another color!

Enjoy!  (And try it with your kids!)

Emily

INTERVIEW SOMEONE YOU LOVE ABOUT LIFE
Questions from Brendon Burchard

1. What comes to mind when you think about growing up in your hometown?

Dad: Riding my bike to school.  Walking down to Baskin Robbins to get ice cream and taking the short cut by Tilly's Pond.
Mom:  We moved to Coral Springs just before I turned 8.  Before that we were in Swampscott, MA-- we moved there when my mom got married to Joel when I was 3.  I remember playing in the backyard in Swampscott and being too afraid to learn to ride a bike-- the house was at the top of a very, very steep hill.   In Coral Springs, I think about the mall.  That was the biggest hangout--and all but one of my high school jobs were there.

2. What did you love to do as a kid, before high school?
Dad: Read and ride my bike all around town. (Darien, CT)
Mom:Hang out with my friends at their houses, especially at Rachel's house because her mom always had amazing snacks and I loved Rachel's room.

3. What did you love to do in high school?
Dad:  Hang out with my friends, play the piano, write poems.  My year in Germany I loved to play soccer and hang out with my German friends.
Mom:  Drama club, drama club, drama club.  All my friends were in Drama Club, love interests all in drama club... we'd hang out on the weekends and play improv games.

4. What do remember most about your teenage years?
Dad: I liked laughing and having fun and being outside.
Mom:  Performing and pursuing boys.

5. What do you remember most about your mom?
Dad: She always liked trying to make different kinds of food.  She was always inviting people over.
Mom:  She always was happy to have all my friends over.  She didn't mind if we were loud even late into the night.  She would sometimes be silly and she was always involved with Drama Club, usually selling tickets at the booth-- she came to every performance.

6. What was most important to her?
Dad: Making sure we had fun and did things together.
Mom:  As she said, being "a lady".

7. What do you remember most about your dad?
Dad: He was very hard working and he always got up early.
Mom:  Well, I only met him once when I was 16, but the impression I got was that he was arrogant and not very smart.  I remember thinking, "Thank god my mom didn't marry this dude."

8. What was most important to him?
Dad: Treating people with respect.
Mom:  No idea. Football, maybe? His 4 sons all went into football.

9. If your parents had a message to you and their grandchildren, what do you think it is?
Dad: Work hard and play hard.
Mom:  Hmm... good question.  Maybe "Work hard and say please & thank you."

10. How did you meet mommy/daddy and know s/he was the one?
Dad:  She was introduced to me by a friend (Ray) and we had really awesome conversations, that's how I knew.
Mom:  I was working on the ship (Voyager) and Ray told me I was like the female version of his friend Seth.  He put me on the phone with him one day in port and I left a voicemail.  Then Seth called me in my cabin and we talked for 4 hours.  (July 2003)  I knew he was the one, because at a certain point I realized he was the only male I'd ever met who thought I was really funny AND sexy.   It has always been either/or.  He really saw me.  (He also wasn't rattled by me-- he was super smart and sharp and I didn't have to go easy on him). :)

11. How did you choose your career and what was your favorite part about it?
Dad: I decided to do what I'm best at.  Favorite part is working with other people.
Mom:  I decided to do the one thing I knew I was really good at-- performing.  Ultimately, I realized the lifestyle of depending on other people to hire me every 6 months did not fit with my personality and made me feel anxious, so being my own boss is my favorite way to do this.  My fav part if I'm honest is getting a good authentic laugh from the audience.

12. What made you successful at work?
Dad: Not giving up, even when it's inconvenient.
Mom:  Always trying again and NOT aiming for perfection.  Aiming for perfection means nothing gets done.

13. What did you believe about yourself that helped you become successful and deal with hard times?
Dad:  That nothing is so bad I couldn't overcome it.
Mom:  I am one of the most resourceful people I know.  If there is something I need, I will find a way to get it using what I know or what I have to work with.  I plan ahead, I'm flexible, and I do believe that if I come across an obstacle, ultimately the universe is just blocking a path I am not supposed to go down.  I try to repeat the mantra "The universe is always conspiring in my favor."  One example of this is that had I got my dream job (which I auditioned for three different times) the first time, I would have met Daddy because he was on the ship then. But, at that time,  I was in the middle of a rocky relationship and so was he--the timing would have been bad... but by the time I got the job, I was out of that relationship, got to learn the job without him there--and then meet him a  few months later.

14. What times in your life truly “tested your mettle,” and what did you learn about yourself by dealing (or not dealing) with them?
Dad:  Having children made the military look like a cakewalk.  I learned if I didn't give up I could do things I previously thought only some people could do.
Mom:  All 3 of my labors/births.  I learned that being scared or in pain isn't a litmus test of whether I can or cannot do something.  Also financially hard/scary times-- I learned nothing is permanent and as long as you keep taking action steps you can move forward.

15. What three events most shaped your life?

Dad:  1.  Birth of my children  2.  Quitting college (Ohio Univ)  3.  Moving to Pittsburgh
Mom: 1.  Going to Penn State   2.    Meeting daddy     3.  Becoming a mother

16. What do you remember about when each of us was born?
Dad:  What mom said below.
Mom:  Oy!  Everything!  Go read each of your birth stories taped inside your baby books!  Daddy's thoughts are there, too!  But as a teaser: Zoe's red hair really surprised us, I was in a blissed out state after Teagan was born, and Richmond took soooooooooo long.

17. Were you ever scared to be a parent?
Dad: No, not scared.  I'm very rarely scared.
Mom:  No.  Maybe anxious, but not scared.

18. What three words would you say represented your approach to parenting and why?
Dad:  Patience.  Sacrifice. Love.
Mom:  Follow your gut.  When I was pregnant with Zoe, someone said "Read everything you can on birth and parenting, then follow your gut."  Best advice ever.  It's really good to have all the info.  But, then just go with your gut.  Daddy and I weren't into childproofing-- it was fine.  We co-slept-- and everyone eventually made it back to their own bed.  We foster more independence, less extracurricular activities than the norm--- and I really like how our kids are turning out-- so-- do what works for your family!

19. When you think about [sibling] how would you describe him?
Dad and Mom both said this was a weird question to answer.

20. What message do you have for the siblings that you want him to always keep in mind?

Dad & Mom: Stay close always!!!!  Please!  Be best friends!  Take care of each other.

21. When you think about [spouse], how would you describe her/him?

Dad:  Emily is full of love for her family and friends.  She is an amazing organizer and planner and she always makes sure everyone gets taken care of.

Mom: Seth is super secure in who he is, I really admire it. And it is almost impossible to embarrass him.  He is terrific with people, he is never uncomfortable.  And he is my rock.

22. What message do you have for [spouse] that you want her/him to always keep in mind?
Mom:  You are my favorite person in the world.  I admire who you are (even if you go slow). ;)
Dad:  I always want to be close to you.  You are so smart and funny and talented, and I would mope around the world without you.

23. What three words would you say best describe who you tried to be in life and how you want to be remembered?

Dad:  Kind, Funny, Weird (in no particular order)

Mom: Oy, 3 words to be remembered? I don't know... I'd love to be able to say kind, but I'm working on that.  I suppose 3 realistic words would be resourceful, loyal, and authentic.

24. When they think about their careers, what do you want your children to focus on?

Dad:  Whatever you work at doing/being,  - work hard, authentically, and keep up a constant conversation with others.  If it doesn't feel right - Don't wait for a "good time" to change your course.

Mom:  Try to work at something that doesn't feel like work. That doesn't mean "be happy" or "do what you're good at" necessarily. I'm good at plenty of things I don't enjoy.  But what is your perspective and expertise that is unique that the world needs?  What feels like your authentic place in the world?

25. What have you learned about other people in life? 
Mom:  Everyone has their own baggage.  I've learned that I have the best chance of connecting to someone by opening up and being my authentic self.
Dad:  Everyone needs love.  Be a good listener, and offer your best self to others.  Unless you're trying to avoid them, in which case do so completely.  It never feels good being a fake.

26. What do you think the world needs more of right now?

Dad:  (Love in the form of...) Cooperation.  Since the beginning of time, we lose what we don't work together to preserve, protect and enjoy.

Mom: Well, I'm cheating because I just saw is fabulous video called the adaptable mind..l and I'd agree with that video, we need: curiosity, creativity, initiative, multi-disciplinary thinking, and empathy. Empathy most of all.

27. What do you believe people want the most in life?

Dad:  Someone to share things with.

Mom: Love and validation.

28. What were the three best decisions you’ve ever made?

Dad:  Marrying Emily, dropping out of graduate school at Pitt (to pursue alternate studies), quitting my full-time teaching position at Manchester Elementary.

Mom: see number 15. :)

29. What are you most proud of in life?
Dad:  All 3 Children - Really our whole family,  Showing people the real me,  figuring out what I'm best at (trying to do ONLY/MOSTLY that is my current challenge).
Mom:  The family I've created with daddy.  Inwardly, I'm proud of my authenticity and resourcefulness.

30. What were five of the most positive moments of your life?
Dad:  Are you crazy?  That's a whole novel, or graduate study, or anything way bigger than one question on a list of 32.  Let's see - Birth of my children - that's 1, 2, 3.  Nothing comes close to that, but it was amazing to train and perform with Cirque du Soleil.  Starting BFTC, our theatre company will beget many more positive moments i'm sure.  I can't scan and categorize moments like that, it seems unnatural and dumb.
Mom:  This is too many questions, and I even LIKE questions!  We just saw the movie "Inside Out"... this makes me think of "core memories"... I'd say a huge shining moment for me was April 20, 2002 when I performed my one-woman Cabaret.  I worked very hard on that and I think it paid off and I got a wonderful response.  Another way completing our first show with our theatre company Bona Fide Theatre Company)... we produced it, I co-directed it, starred in it, marketed it--all with a 6 month old baby... it was a lot of work, but again--got an amazing response and showed me we can do anything.  And I'd say finding out we were pregnant each time was very positive and thrilling.  I also have special moment with my children all the time.

31. What message would you like to share with your family?
Dad:  You are the most vital thing to me (THE thing to cherish & protect).  I want to be with you above all else.  You are my home.
Mom:  That they sustain me.  That I love them and need them more than they can know, and I know I need to work on compassion, so thanks for loving me despite my crap. ;)  You guys are the best.

32. What are you most thankful for?
Dad:  Emily, Zoe, Teagan, Richmond.  The opportunity to be & experience life together.  The awareness that everything I want and strive for - I want to together with my family.
Mom:  Truly, Seth and my kids. My family.  I've wanted to build an awesome family like this since I was a little girl and it's amazing to be living in it.

(Stuffed) Zucchini and Jalepeno Boats

This recipe will make 5 medium (10 when halved) zucchini and 5 large (10 when halved) jalepeno boats.  My best tip is to only bake what you plan to eat, then cover and save the rest of the mixture.  Mixture will keep for 5-7 days in fridge.  You can easily buy 1 zuke, slice it, stuff it, bake it 15 mins and there’s a delicious lunch!  Enjoy! –Emily

**This is a recipe that doesn't have to be too precise--- play with it!

INGREDIENTS:

5 medium zucchini or poblano peppers

5 large jalepenos

1 lemon

1 cups your favorite olives, pitted (a mix of types is best)

8 oz goat cheese log (Whole Foods brand)
2 cups arugala finely chopped (optional)

2 tbsp breadcrumbs (optional)
1/2 cup grape tomatoes (optional)-- for topping

DIRECTIONS

Wash zukes and jals

Slice off stems and then slice in half, longways

Scrape out about half inch out of the inside

In a  bowl, mix goat cheese, chopped olives, arugala, juice of one lemon and breadcrumbs

Fill the zukes and jals

Bake 12 mins at 425

<sub>Enjoy!

(Before going in the oven):</sub>

Potty Training

While I have now potty trained two children and am almost on the other side of training my youngest, this isn't an area where I feel like an expert, or even someone with a tried and true method... or even someone with a good method.  It's okay... it's decent.  So--I'll share it basically jus for posterity.

My two girls came first (3 yr age difference) and were both more challenging to potty train than my son.  I began potty training my oldest ar 2.5 yrs when the pediatrician recommended she sleep bare bottomed because of some rash problems that were persistent.  She was night potty trained in a  few days.  We kept a lot of towels under her, but she held it all night--crazy!  So, you'd think day would be easier, but... nope.  She really resisted.  It took another 6-9 months to really get her to stop having daily accidents.

My middle child was the flip.  She went to preschool 2 days a week from age 2 years 4 months.  She saw her friends pee in the potty and wanted to try.  She trained fairly quickly in the day but still had many accidents for a long time.  By the end of that school year (3 yrs 1 month) she was day trained.  Night was a struggle.  She stayed in a diaper at night til 4.5 yrs.  She really wanted to make it happen...in face for almost 2 yrs she refused the diaper and fell asleep in underwear... but she'd pee the bed every night, even if we woke her to pee.  So--we would come in around 10pm and put a diaper on her.

My son... well, after potty training two girls, I was exhausted just thinking about it.  But, he kind of took it up on his own this summer.  And with 4 people there to cheer everytime he'd pee in the potty, he was trying it all the time!  (Attention from all 4 family members at once  is so rare-- everyone's always trying to get a word in.)  He first got interested August 1 and now only wears diapers at night.  He even naps in underwear no problem.  I've taken him on errands and he has only had 1 accident.  Frankly, we deserve an easier time on the third round, so I am happy!

Here are my tips, for whatever they are worth:

• Keep a ziploc in your purse or car with: Two clean underwear, two clean bottoms, or dresses (dress is better for girl because you're not left with no top if she happens to be wearing a dress), a washcloth to dry their legs, a bag for trash & poop to toss and a bag for wet clothes to bring home)... And I assume you carry wipes as a given

• Before you leave for an errand, ask if she wants to sit on the potty and try

• I used M&Ms... 2 for pee, 4 for poop, and extra if he does it on the big (actual) potty in the bathroom. It makes it easier.  And if pee got on the floor I gave only 1 M&M and said "Good try, but we can't get any on the floor, okay!  I know it's tough, keep trying!"  I gave every single time (it was a LOTof chocolate) the first 2 days.  After that, I didn't give treats unless he asked.  He asked about 50% of the time.

• If she says no, do not push it. Ask again when you get to destination

• I say "George, do you need to pee on the potty before we go inside the store? If you go now, you can use George's potty, but inside it'll be a big potty and we'll have to stop what we are doing, wanna try?" If no, I don't push it. If he has an accident, he learns.

• Accidents will be happening--probably for a year--just embrace it. Be prepared.

• Buy a Potette Potty for your car.  I don't use the liners, I just pull in a parking spot next to grass or mulch and let them go right into the ground (pee).  This was invaluable to me with all 3 kids--- sometimes you cannot get to a potty.

EMERGENCY ZIPLOC---

DIY Outdoor Shower

I recently found out you can buy an outdoor shower and hook it to a hose... No plumbing required!
This is very exciting, because all summer long our family of 5 swims DAILY and usually just hose off.  We keep a bottle of soap and shampoo out there --sometimes it's just easier especially if we swim til 7pm certain days.  Having an actual shower out there is amazing.

This project can cost as little as $73 if  you just buy the shower and hose and sick it in the yard.  Or you can build a structure just under it, or under and all around.  You can even get an outdoor shower that is solar powered if you want warm water.  This is the shower we got.  For the final project you see below, we spent about 4 hours.

If you don't need privacy, this saves some extra time and money-- walls are not necessary... We began our walls, but plan to finish them a few planks at a time over a few months.

You will need-  (We had a lot of this left over from other projects)

An outdoor shower and 10' hose... $65+$8

2-4- 4x4x8 posts... $7.57 each (we attached to existing fence panel)

11 pavers ...$1.53 each

4-5 bags rocks....  $3.53 each

5 bags sand... $3.49 each

2-8- 1x6x10 wooden planks... $6.57 each (for walls/ 2 for frame)

Solar lights, 2-4, $2 each

Drill

Saw

Shovel

A 5x5 space

Post hole digger

Directions-

Dig up the 5x5 space

Dig 2 foot deep holes for your posts, put them in, solidify with dirt and water til solid

Make a 3 sided... Or 4 sided frame, we did 3 since our patio acted as the 4th

Cut two 1x6s to fit around the posts, use two pieces together for 3rd side

Spread one bag of sand on top, rake it evenly

Position pavers as you want them

Fill in cracks with sand

Rake and sweep to even out

Then gently soak with water to pack down

Add rocks in the cracks

Add wooden planks at chest level for towel racks... Continue building wall up and down if privacy is needed

On 4th "wall" attach two high hooks and put a vinyl shower curtain for complete privacy

Add corner pieces to hold shampoo and soap

Add solar lights to top of posts

Hook shower up to hose and place inside

Enjoy!

Homemade Granola Bars

I've been wanting to do this for awhile.
The first batch I made called for dates-and while delicious, they are SO expensive that it was cheaper to just buy organic granola bars!
The next batch called for an entire stick of butter--again, delicious--but too unhealthy.
I concocted these and got really lucky--turned out pretty yummy.

It yields 24 bars (which freeze really well) and cost about 38 cents each to make (about $9 worth of ingredients used).  The best price on boxes of organic granola bars I can find is $5 for an organic Cascadian Farms box of 10 at Target-- that comes to 50 cents a bar.

It's also a pretty easy recipe to let your kids help with... enjoy!

Ingredients:

2 eggs

1 cup natural peanut butter

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup honey

4 1/4 cups organic old fashioned oats

1/2 cup slivered almonds

2/3 cup dark chocolate chips

1/2 cup organic unsweetened applesauce

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350

Beat eggs in large bowl til they have lots of bubbles

Stir in peanut butter, sugar, honey.

Add the chocolate chips and almonds, then oats slowly.

One well-mixed, add the 1/2 cup applesauce and mix in well.

Spray baking pan.

Spread mixture on pan and press down to fill the pan evenly.

Bake 15 minutes, cool one hour.

Cut into 24 bars, freeze.

Is this really true?

Oops... an innocent conversation at dinner turns into tears...

Teagan (5 years old):  Why do some old people die?
Mommy: Well, everyone dies.
Teagan:  (smiling) What?  ...Is this really true? (looking at Daddy)
Daddy:  Well... yeah.
Teagan:  (tears welling in her eyes)
Mommy:  But everyone does!  And we're talking, in, like... 100 years!!!
Teagan:  (crying)
Mommy:  (desperate) And some people believe when you die you go to heaven and see everyone else who died!
Daddy: (chiming in) And some people think you get born again as someone else!
Teagan: (crying) But, but... then what is the world for?
Mommy:  (laughing) Yeah, well... that's the question everyone tries to figure out while they are alive!
Zoe (7 years old):  Well, the one thing I know is that the Earth will always be here.
Mommy (to Daddy):  Shall we just pile on at this point?
Mommy (to Zoe):  Actually, that's not true.  Especially if people don't recycle and use too much energy...
Zoe (upset):  What!?!?  No one told me this!!!!!
Daddy:  Well, once the sun dies, our entire solar system will be destroyed.
Zoe: What!?  The sun can die!?!?
Daddy:  Well, it's a star and all stars have a life span.  But this is in millions of years!

This discussion is still going on, but had to come document it ASAP...

Parents... crushing dreams since the beginning of time... and til the sun explodes.

DIY Pool Maintenence

When we bought our house last year we also became pool owners.
We weren't looking for a house with a pool, but the perfect one happened to have one, so we knew we needed to learn how to do it ourselves because hiring a pool guy was not in the budget.
At first we went to Pinch A Penny and spent ... uh, WAY more than a  penny last summer.  We did it Pinch a Penny's way for about 4 months.
Then we had a really tough go of it with mustard algae-- we just could not keep it gone.  We'd follow PAP's instructions, buy a ton of specialty chemicals, it would seem to be gone, and a week later, we'd see a faint hint of it.

I finally found the site Trouble Free Pools--- this site is a godsend.  Get on there ASAP.  I used info from there and ordered a test kit (Taylor K-2006) and made myself a little waterproof Pool Manual.  They even have a calculator which is an amazing tool to figure out exact amounts for your specific pool.  The community on there really helps you out as well-- they stuck with me through 2 weeks of mustard algae hell and really held my hand--- pool problems can get very frustrating.

The other bonus is it's a bit less "chemical" than the pool store way.  Their method is called "BBB" which stands for "bleach" (did you know chlorine and bleach are the same thing?), "baking soda" (alkalinity), and "borax" (optional).  They keep it really simple and it makes for a healthier and cleaner pool.  It also makes it easier to fix a problem when you get one.  We were frustrated to find out how much those "chlorine tablets" that float in the pool screw with your entire balance and keeps you very reliant on the pool store.

We have been using this method for 8 months and not only is it way cheaper--it's really empowering to learn all about your pool chemistry and take control of it.  After the learning phase, it will take about a daily 5 minute commitment and then one day a week maybe an extra 30-45 minutes-- in the winter it's less, summer is a bit more.

Now that we have our kit ($50), it just costs about $20 a month in chlorine to maintain our pool (less in winter).  We do have to refill the testers when they run out, but they last a pretty long time--I've only run out of two so far and it comes with maybe 12 different test bottles.  Also, Trouble Free Pool community has a site they use that's less expensive for refills.  I have ordered from there twice.

Go learn your pool!

Some pictures of my pool before and then after I started using the BBB method.  Also-- my pool manual and kit. :)

October 4 , 2014 was when we finally abandoned the pool store and started trying the BBB method:

We figured out the normal levels for our pool and printed that, put it in the manual.  Also put stuff about SLAMing (you'll learn about that there), and other useful info-- and also pages to fill in the test results.

Our pool today!

Routine Flip Chart

Oh my goodness. I have tried so many thing to get y kids to self-start... And finish.

I came up with this idea and so far it seems to be working with all 3 kids... Though the oldest is most enthusiastic.  They are supposed to wake up and start flipping through the tasks as they do them.

They wake up and start with "Get dressed" and flip and flip until they have completed all morning tasks.  If it's a school day, they pick up the chart whe. They get home with "Unpaxk Backpack" and go from there.  They also have hooks upstairs so it can come up for bedtime routine.

The goal is for them to move through all the necessary tasks in the morning and at night so they are prepared for the day WITHOUT any prompting. The pictures are for be two little ones who cannot read yet.

So far, so good... Just print up the tasks, cut, laminate, hang.