Shared Closet for 2 Girls

The closet in my girls' room is on the smaller side.

We have no extra storage in this house, so all of their stuff needs to get stored there.

We also get a nice amount of hand me downs, sometimes stuff that won't be worn for 3 more years.

I bought clothes dividers from Amazon... They were about $1 apiece when you factor in shipping.

We bought two brackets and found a tension rod we'd had and made it a rod just for school uniforms to stay organized.  The whole project with new rod and clothes dividers was $15 even.

Comfort zones

I was thinking today how overwhelmed I was in my early 20s by all the things I hadn't yet explored-- or even found out about.  I remember someone telling me "It's just as important to find out what you don't like as it is to find out what you DO like."  That's good advice.  Looking back on my college and immediate post-college graduation years--- it took awhile to figure out what I liked and what I didn't-- it sounds so easy... like checking boxes... but it isn't.  Especially if a lot of peers like something and you feel you SHOULD.

But there is a gift in the not knowing... it means everything is a possibility.  This is also overwhelming, but as I've aged, and figured out what I like and don't like-- I realize I can get a bit too comfortable saying no to things I don't like.  I don't think I should necessarily try them JUST because they aren't in my comfort zone-- but constantly putting yourself in situations that might risk discomfort is maybe what keeps you young?  Or fosters bursts of growth, maybe?

Conflicting message

For me, it's important to model good choices for my kids.

I don't think it's fair to say "do as I say and not as I do". (Except for dessert frequency.)

So, this conflicting message really bothers me and I'm not really sure how to reconcile it to them.  They are KIDS. As adults we can reconcile it... But as a kid... It's a mixed message.  

Both messages are true. It IS important not to get too cliquey and to be inclusive.

It's also true that you should choose to be around people who support you, care about your well being, and don't drain you.

I certainly don't include everyone. In fact, in a new situation, I prefer now to ha g back and really scope things out for awhile (months, even).  Why? It's almost impossible to break up with a friend. I don't want to be in that position.  And when I notice another mom who seems to drain people of positivity, to speak badly of others, etc... I want to keep a healthy distance. I want to keep evolving and becoming better and more confident and sure of myself and who I am.  I need other positive, strong people around me for that.

So, I kind of hate that we tell our kids to include everyone, even though I understand the why.  It just seems harsh to expect of them what we mostly don't do ourselves... or even identify as harmful in some ways.

It's like high school

Now that I've been through these first seven years of parenthood, and I've birthed my last baby, nursed my last baby, and can feel us gelling into the actual unit we will be, I have this feeling...

It's like high school. I have a lot of fond memories of high school, defining moments, true friendships.  It was a special time... More importantly, a growing time, a time when I found out more about who I was... But no fucking way would I want to go back and do it again.  ;)

I love my family... But it took a lot to get here... I'm glad to have learned what I did, put in many sleepless nights, crying with other moms, sweet times... But I'm happy that soon everyone will be wiping their own tush.  It's a special time.

Apple Cake for Rosh Hashanah

Yay, a new recipe pays off!

I modified this recipe from this one here.

It really is delicious, and according to my husband is just like apfel kuchen in Germany.

My oldest daughter and I made it for Rosh Hashanah. 

 I agree that it's important to get 5 different kinds of apples to get different flavors, tart and sweet, crispy, and soft.  It begs for a cup of coffee.

Adapted from:

Marie-Hélène's Apple Cake recipe on Epicurious

ingredients

• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 5 large apples (different kinds-- we used Honeycrisp, Granny Smith, Gala, Cripps Pink, Golden Delicious)
• 2 large eggs
• 3/4 cup  cane sugar
• 2 tablespoons water
• 1/2 tsp almond extract
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted and cooled

preparation

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Generously butter a 9-inch piece of stoneware.

Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt together in small bowl.

Peel the apples, cut them in half and remove the cores. Slide in food processor.

In a medium bowl, beat the eggs with a whisk until they’re foamy. Pour in the sugar and whisk for a minute or so to blend. Whisk in the water, almond and vanilla. Whisk in half the flour and when it is incorporated, add half the melted butter, followed by the rest of the flour and the remaining butter, mixing gently after each addition so that you have a smooth, rather thick batter. Switch to a rubber spatula and fold in the apples, turning the fruit so that it's coated with batter. Scrape the mix into the pan and poke it around a little with the spatula so that it's evenish.

Slide the pan into the oven and bake for 50 to 60 minutes, or until the top of the cake is golden brown and a knife inserted deep into the center comes out clean--transfer to a cooling rack and let rest for 5 minutes.

Serving
The cake can be served warm or at room temperature, with or without a little softly whipped, barely sweetened heavy cream or a spoonful of ice cream. 

Storing
The cake will keep for about 2 days at room temperature and, according to my husband, gets more comforting with each passing day. However long you keep the cake, it's best not to cover it — it's too moist. Leave the cake on its plate and just press a piece of plastic wrap or wax paper against the cut surfaces.

Ingredients:

I ended up taking this paper out and re-pouring the mixture in. Pay no attention to this paper!

I tracked my spending, and .... yikes.

I decided to track our family spending from August 21- Sept. 20 and see if I was sticking to the strict budget we have.  As a family of 5 on ONE teacher's salary-- it's pretty strict.

Now, I may have picked a crappy month to track because of all the back-to-school costs-- but it seems every month there are unexpected things, so no time is perfect.

So--- I'm just gonna get real with numbers now-- it'll be quaint for our kids to read this in 30 years and se the actual dollars we were working with.  

Mortgage and bills right away add up to 1,744.57-- this includes health insurance, car insurance, life insurance, electric bill, internet, etc.  All the bills.

The one area we did better in is gas-- our budget is $250.  Since we moved closer to the places we go daily, we've cut our gas by almost half-- just by moving 7 miles closer.  Total gas for the month for both cars was $125.82.  Yay!

Groceries-- fail.  My budget is $500, and we spent $778.87.  I did stock up on some sale stuff for back to school (um... 76 boxes of Z-bars at $1.25 a box.... yes, I did.)  Still... that's $278 over budget!

"Other"... our budget for this is $250 and ideally $100 would go to savings every month, so it'd really be $150.  That's $150 for everything-- Target, treats, babysitter, any eating out, toiletries, Post Office--whatever.  This month it included $157 for two brand new tires, Target back to school supplies and stock-up of TP, paper towels, etc., a couple times of major pool shock because of algae, a bike seat for my 1 yr old so I could get back to exercising, $66 in Girl Scout registration and uniform-- and then basically a lot more Target trips, tiny treats here and there at Panera, Whole Foods, Dunkin, etc.
Too much-- way too much.  But, for argument's sake-- I did want to really track everything, so I didn't try to spend more frugally.  Total was $893.48.  Huge fail.  Huge.

So, all in all, this month we spent $798.17 that we didn't have.  That is CRAZY.

It's a little depressing, but I'm giving myself credit for tracking it and being mindful going forward.

I'll spend the next month really working on ways to do even more with less.  I do all the stuff people know-- coupon, sales, not going out,  I cut all 5 family members' hair, we don't have Smart Phones, we have iPad minis and we just use WiFi wherever we go, no cable, just Netflix and Hulu, one day a week we don't drive anywhere to save gas,  etc. I have found even little stuff like putting things on my Amazon wish list helps.  I know it's there-- I know I won't forget about it and meanwhile I know it's there for me when I'm ready to buy it.

How do parents do it?

Every weekend I feel so... Flummoxed?

How do parents do it with small kids?  How do they get it all dine and still have time for sleep and fun stuff with friends or even with their kids?

It takes us all weekend just to maintain.

It isn't in our budget to go out to eat, to hire a lawn person, to hire a pool person, a cleaning lady.  Does everyone gave these things and this is why they have time for fun... Or do we just suck?

One of us has to watch the baby while something like lawn mowing or pool cleaning happens... He is too curious.

Cooking three meals a day (usually two Bc breakfast is low key) takes an enormous amount of my time. Washing and folding and putting away laundry for 5 people feels endless.  My husband washes the dishes... That's 5 people eating 3 times a day.  Kids seems to need nails clipped once a week and baths every day... Bath time is like an hour if every day. The. Ine of the three is up at least a couple times after they are in bed.

By the time they are asleep, there's dinner dishes, backpacks and lunches to prep for the next day and emails to return, etc.

When the baby naps, admittedly, we are zonked and may fall asleep... Or my husband might use the time to cut the lawn which seems to take 3-4 outings to finish one cut.

We love reading... My husband loves writing. We miss it! (I'm writing this on the toilet.) ;)

So... Is it just us?

I find myself angry about  work seeping into non-work hours since we already never seem to make it to bed before midnight any night.  With no real village, at the least, people should be encouraged to go home and focus on family.

I feel like we are the only ones with no desire to add anything- anything- to our calendar.

I know the above may sound like complaining ... But I'm honestly curious who else with a young family struggles to get more than 5 hours of sleep and find time to have fun for more than 20 mins here or there?