My version of fast food

Even if it were healthy, fast food is expensive.

When I need a really quick meal, here is one of my go-tos for my family of five... And I use leftovers in lunches for the next day.

I pick up 3 bags of Whole Foods brand vegan fried rice and some broccoli crowns.

Total cost for all of this? $11.

The rice cooks up pretty fast and just at the end, I put the cut up broccoli in top and steam it for just a couple minutes.

Done.  That's it.

Fun FoodFootnote:  For those screaming "Where's the protein?!" Did you know that broccoli has more protein per calorie than steak? :). Even though you wouldn't eat as many calories in broccoli as steak in one sitting, it's important to note, many Americans are way off about how much protein they need in their diet.  (It's like saying "I need to make sure I'm getting enough oxygen!") You'd do better worrying about fiber.  The minimum amount of protein any plant has is 14% and if you ate only plants all day on a 2000 calorie diet, that's means you'd be getting around 70g of protein.  (Daily rec for women is 30-50 and men 50-70).

At this time

Note to self...

Don't try to to make your life something it isn't only because of what other lives look like immediately surrounding you.

It would be like skipping around in a book instead of reading the story as it unfolds.

I have 3 young children. I have friends with no kids... With 1 kid just starting the parenting gig... With kids way older than mine.  I can't be on their chapter, I need to be in my chapter.  My chapter has 

Title free time, no nights out, lots of mess, wiping and exhaustion. I can't be bogged down with pressure to be glamorous while simultaneously always having clean laundry or helping with homework, then breezing out for a drinking night out with girlfriends.   For me, it's too much.  I don't have the resources to make that work without feeling burned out.

For many years I tried to hang on things I did before parenthood...not to lose myself..  But, for me anyway... The journey of being pregnant and birthing three PEOPLE was exactly that... A recreation of identity.  I know more now than I did at 27 when I became a mother.  Of course I am different... If I wasn't i would have failed to grow.

I'll embrace this chapter, for, as long as it feels (8 years running so far), I will be in a new chapter soon enough.  No need to rush and try to live two chapters at once.  Let me embrace where I am, what I have, and what life is NOW.  Then I'll see what the next chapter's got for me. ;)

Notes from Facebook

Talking with my friend tonight helped me remember some good tips from the last 7+ years of parenthood... pasting here for future tipping... :)
Would love tocome back sometimes and turn this into a true post-- but for now(and in case that doesn't happen), I don't want to lose the tidbits...

On sleep...

I'd leave a little TINY lamp on, and put a bunch of audio books on an iPod dock ona loop-- and leave her in there

Let her know she DOES not have to sleep--but it is time to be quiet and read or rest

• this week I noticed R. winds down faster if I leave his door wide open-- i tell him, "I promise I'm coming back but I have too__________ (check on Teagan/go pee pee)" I always come back but not til after he is asleep-- I keep the promise and pat him

and R does better if I am upbeat and silly before I go-- not quiet

So, I might eat his toes (though the crib bars) or sneak my hand in to tickle his chin... ask him "What was the most fun today? Playing with Tali? Eating yogurt? Did you play with play doh?" and take him thru the day

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  i wind him UP a little bit so he doesnt feel like Im pressuring him to sleep and then I show I'll be back real quick (I am back, just not too quick) and I make it a point to come back before he is asleep at least twice a week---another thing that worked with Zoe--- I'd put all her laundry away but not engage her-- so I was in the room, singing to myself but just doing tasks
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On kids and blogging:

I went to a Parent Connect this morning on the kids' blogfolios in the school (every kid has their own blog and the idea is to make a "portfolio" of work from K-8 that they take to high school-- it helps getting into magnet schools that are top rated etc)

they talked about how if you can't read email, navigate the internet, etc-- you are Illiterate

the definition of Literacy changes with technology

just reading words on a page isnt sufficient to be literate--- which means you can't be a good communicator-- which is the basis of all education

she was saying how getting family and friends to comment (quality comment-- which is another cool thing, every student creates a Comment Guidelines outlining their requirements for comments-- it's all part of learning to be a Digital Citizen) motivates them to write and create

but I like that they dont just pretend the internet is a separate thing-- they TEACH them "Digital Citizenship"... making them literate

it was really a good talk

and she (4th/5th grade Language Arts teacher, see her blog here) gave some examples of why writing on their blogs is wonderful-- they cite things by hyperlinking them (versus a footnote) making it more credible-- and people can comment, so they know it isnt a paper that ends up in the trash-- but that people might respond to it and share their perspective which opens their learning-- AND-- makes them WANT to write more. It also helps them find THEIR voice.

Like most comments are "Good job!" or "That's awesome" which is useless... the idea is for the writer to see their work ina new way which makes the full circle of everyone gaining something new

and she also said "Connect Don't Correct"

so-- don't use a comment to correct someone's errors-- the reason you are there is to make a connection and correcting will come with time

anyway-- I just share this stuff because it's so interesting and I feel like I stored away nuggets when Zoe was tiny and remember them and it just kind of plants a seed for one little facet of parenthood-- it helps!

And you're little... for a little while

Our 19 month old is waking at all times of night and NOT going back to sleep... for hours. It has been frustrating-- and with 3 kids, we need that night time 2 hours so badly to get things done (lunches, dishes, clean ourselves, finish a sentence...) that it feels like such a violation when one of our kids doesn't go to sleep/stay asleep.

We tried letting him watch Sesame Street in the Pack & Play-- lay down with his sisters in their bed, cry for a few minutes in his crib... no dice. He was up... LOUD and up. We finaly left him in the P&P with some Sesame Street (Sleepytime Songs) and tried to at least finish up all the kitchen/lunch stuff. Finally-- we needed to just try to get him back to the crib... at 10pm...

He was all sad and my husband was going rock him down and I was annoyed... and he goes, "He's just a little person, he doesnt know-- he doesnt want to be annoying us"

And then i felt awful and said i'd put him down myself and I'm glad I did-- it was cozy. At one point I was singing along to Renee & Jeremy's It's a Big Big World song, and the end of the chorus is "do doo doo doo, doo do do doo"... and I'd sing the first "doo doo do doo" and whisper "now you"... and he'd quietly smile and say "doo doo doo". It was a moment. I realized how little he is right now... how much he needs me, how sweet and wonderful he is at this age--- how I will miss having the strength to hold his weight for 30 minutes and bounce on an exercise ball.

I was like AHA!... of course they have to annoy you or you'd be a mess all the time wanting them to stay little-- but the waking and such keeps you wanting them to grow

It's JUST enough to make you excited for a new stage.

One of those moments you wait for...

November 11, 2014

I just had a 45 min impromptu convo with the girls in their bed

it was like... the first real convo

not really

but just the LENGTH

they were asking questions about my life

it was so cool... about growing up and who my mom was married to, and if I was sad with just a mom, and then they'd (mainly Zoe) ask deeper questions... then she says "I man, this is kind of a compliment but I don't know if you'll think it is... How could you and Daddy have such horrible homes and grow up to be good people?"

HAHAH!

I said "why do you think our homes were horrible?"

She says, "Well, your houses just sound so... strange and odd... I mean...Pop would wash Daddy's mouth with soap if he said a bad word and his brother shot him in the butt with a bebe gun!... and Grammy didn't cook and you had to make your own lunches and shower yourself and you had a lot of responsibilities when you were pretty little."

I said, "Ha!  I guess that does sound horrible, but it wasn't!  We just want you to know we were helping out pretty young."

And at the end of this talk (45 mins), Seth comes out of Richmond's room and Zoe is talking so animatedly, and explaining things ad Seth said it sounds exactly how I talk. So cool.

The mannerisms, and inflections, etc/rhythm

Teagan asked (in that 45 min) "Why do we have a life?

I said, "Like, why do we exist?"

"Yep"

Zoe interrupted that she knew the answer... I said, "Wait for me to answer her and then you can tell us what you think it is... So... Teag... this is basically the question we try to answer the entire time we are alive. I'm not really sure."

Zoe says "Well, because --well I'm not really sure about cavemen--but besides that, G-d created----" I cut her off and said, "Wait-- just remember she is asking WHY... not how."

Zoe thought about it... "Okay, well we learn that the world is a mess. and we really don't want to leave the world a mess, so we are here to do tikkun olam (repair the world)."

Wish I could type it all out, but I have to make lunches!!!

10 year anniversary

We always thought we'd go back to Italy-- where we honeymooned-- for our 10th anniversary.  With a 1 yr old, 4 yr old, and 7 yr old and a very tight budget... not happening!

I wanted to mark it somehow, though.  It's BIG!  Unlike a birthday, 10 years of marriage means you put in some serious work (or are miserable and lazy?), I don't know-- but, to me, it's a big milestone!

So... my friend came over and took some pictures of me showing my daughters my wedding dress for the first time out of that box-- the box that looks like you shouldn't even touch the box let alone open it.

Then we took a few pictures under the big tree in our yard.  When my husband and I got married 10 years ago, it was under the big tree in his parents' yard, so it seemed fitting.  I like to see where we were 10 years ago and now.

Happy 10th Anniversary to us!

To Dye or Not to Dye?

I dyed my hair for the first time when I was 17.  Pitch black.  I loved it.
I continued dying my hair all through college-- not often, but maybe 1-2x per year.

6 weeks before my wedding, I decided it'd be nice to have red highlights when the sun hit at my outdoor ceremony... bad idea.  Somehow my hair turned orange with a dark brown/red highlights color.  It took 3 visits over the next few weeks to get it back to my natural color before my wedding day... and a TON of cash.  So, the last time my hair was dyed was over 10 years ago, September 2004, just weeks before I was married.

I'll be 35 in a few weeks.   have a sprinkling of gray hair.. a few for every couple inches of air I have. I've been thinking more and more about whether or not to dye it, or let it go natural.  I love my natural color and want to keep it as long as possible.  I also want to know at what point I'd be completely gray... if I start dying it, I won't really know when that is or what it will look like.  Letting my hair naturally evolve into whatever comes next feels like the right move for me... but I'm nervous about looking older, sad about losing a color that's been mine for 35 years, and a feeling the pressure from societal norms to just dye it... and frankly, I don't want the expense.
I guess I'll take it one hair at a time.  What I do know is that I don't really want to grow it out after dying it... it's just not as graceful to see that exact beginning and end.
I hope I'm brave enough to go where my hair takes me.

Update October 2015:  I dyed just my roots in time for our anniversary... so I went a good 11 years without dying!  And I'll be 36 in a week.