I took almost 8-year old Zelda* to Starbucks after school just to do something positive... honestly I've had a crappy couple of days and I was selfishly just trying to cheer myself up.
I talked to her about friends.
She got in trouble for licking a friend she was mad at, I mean... she was provoked, but DUDE-- don't lick someone. That's like a ticket to no friends.
anyway
I told her "if someone doesnt care about your feelings, they are not a good friend"
i said "who do you feel cares about your feelings in class"
Z- Tina and Fancy*
Me- Okay-- then only stick around them for awhile. I only have 2 really good friends, right? Who are my 2 good friends?
Z- Maxi and Rita*
Me- Right. I have other moms I like a lot and who make me laugh, but Maxi and Rita care about my feelings and would forgive me if I made a mistake. I'm not afraid to upset them or that they'll change their mind about being my friend. THAT is the kind of friend you want.
I fucking HATE that all kids are doomed to go thru the cycle of all this shit and no words of wisdom will really change that... but I guess we still have to try.
Daddy added this nugget for her to ponder: If someone isn't nice to everyone, they're not nice.
* names have been changed ;)
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