Hanukkah- Making each night different and special

I struggle about presents on Hanukkah.
Even if we were swimming in cash, I'm not sure I want the kids opening presents all 8 nights... by night #3 it becomes an expectation and each night after is a little less special when presents are just expected.

This is what we try to do each year-- ALTHOUGH-- they have ended up with gifts every night so far --between cousins, and sales-- and each of them buying for their sibs, etc.

Let me share how we try to make each night different and I'll elaborate below.

You can get a PDF here of the below to store with your Hanukkah stuff so you don't forget each year.

How to make each night different!

1. Make latkes and sufganiyot (jelly donuts)-- this can be really fun, plus you jump right into the oil of it all.  You might not want to do this by night #3!

Gift suggestion:  Fun but useful (clothes, bag, purse, art supplies)

2.  Dreidel!  We love collecting dreidels.  For some reason, it's more fun when you have, like, 75 different types of dreidels!  Temple gift shops usually have them the cheapest-- 25-75 cents.

Gift suggestion:  Something unnecessary but they want it badly

3.  The kids use their own money and go in pairs to buy something for their other siblings. 

Gift suggestion:  Sibling exchange (they use their own money)

4.  Hanukkah movie!  Usually it's a combo movie-- we love "Arthur's Perfect Christmas"-- it's a PBS special and has a Francine who is Jewish storyline in it-- a good one!  Eloise: Little Miss Christmas has a similar idea.

Gift suggestion:  DVDs

5.   We love our cousins-- so make the trip and spend the whole day and Hanukkah evening with them and exchange small presents.

Gift suggestion:  Cousin exchange!

6.  This is usually an event at our temple or preschool (Jewish preschool)--but can also be a night of tzedakah or going to help somewhere.  A "giving" night.

Gift suggestion:  GIVE a gift!  (They can also get coins or money to save)

7.  This is a night when the kids give to mommy & daddy-- and only mommy & daddy get presents this night.  It reminds the kids to think of the big people in the family and whether they just make something, or give the gift of telling them the things they like about their family, etc--- I like the idea of Hanukkah not ONLY being about the kids.  This is a night to celebrate your parents!  (Grandparents could be included, too.)

Gift suggestion: Kids give to parents!  Handmade!

8.Mashup!  Pick your favorite things from nights 1-7 and have an encore before Hanukkah is over!  Games, latkes, whatever floats your boat!

Gift suggestion:  Books

Happy Hanukkah!

Wishing you and yours a meaningful and FUN holiday!

Rachel and Erin's Fish Tacos

EDIT:  March 2, 2014-- please read below for a new added ingredient that makes these even more amazing than they already are!

Um... I don't even need to talk.

Just make these and get happy.

Feeds 8- Makes 20+ tacos

2 lb tilapia

Rub- 1/2 tsp cumin, 1/2 tsp cayenne,1/2 tsp salt,1 tsp paprika, 1/2 tsp onion powder

Package shredded coleslaw... We got Whole Foods organic package in the produce section, really fresh.. It just had shredded green and purple cabbage and shredded carrots.

Pico de gallo

Hot sauce (cholula, original)

Tortillas, about 20

Make pico- 3 tomatoes seeded, jalapeño seeded, 1 small onion, 1/2 bunch chopped cilantro, juice of one lime, salt and pepper... Do in advance and chill

Rub- mix spices in a small bowl 

Rub the rub on the fish, both sides!

In cast iron skillet, sear fish 5 min each side in grapeseed oil

Put on serving dish and break it up with spatula

Take a tortilla, layer in pieces of fish, pico, cabbage and hot sauce.

Amaze your mouth.

The end.

3/2/14....ADDED INGREDIENT:  Avocado dressing:  one avocado, 1 heaping spoonful (about 3 tbsp maybe?) of plain yogurt,  1 tbsp sour cream (or use more yogurt), 1 garlic clove (fresh), 1 tsp olive oil, 1 large pinch salt, juice of one lemon-- blend well in (small) food processor, add to top of taco

I cannot believe we didn't take a picture of the tacos!  They were just sooooooo good we inhaled them.

They sort of looked like this... But not exactly... They were soon awesome.

Mommy or Me

I was talking with my friend Rachel today.  Rachel and I became best friends in 7th grade when we moved each other up to "1st best friend"-- a decision made in Ms. Boudreau's second period math class.

Rachel had her first baby almost 5 months ago-- nine weeks after I had my third baby.  It's kind of great to be pregnant with a friend who's known you that long.  (Um, I still remember reading this terrible magazine with her in 7th grade called '13 & Pregnant'--like today's version of reality TV--and here we are 20 years later!)   Talking with her and my friend Mary Jo (also an old friend who had her first baby 5 weeks before my third), all of these realizations come to me.  I'm seeing things fresh as a first time mom from their perspective, but applying my 6 year tenure to the equation.  When I give them (mostly solicited) advice, it kind of forces my 2007-new-mom self into view.  It's making for many epiphanies.

One I had today is this...

Rachel has been having a hard time finding a moms group.  She's 4 months into motherhood, she somewhat isolated living in a suburb-- it's her and Google basically.  She has tried La Leche League, but their meetings are only once a month and sometimes get shifted.  She tried an exercise group.  She tried a Mommy & me gym class.  She felt like she didn't fit in.  She felt like she was intruding on moms who already knew each other.

And I realized--it's HARD being a new mom.  Sure, hard for the obvious reasons.  Sleeplessness, figuring out naps and breastfeeding, and a new body, and being covered in goo and sweat most of the time--- of course that's hard.  But-- what's really hard is when you get it together to go out as a mommy & baby... are you a mommy, or are you...well, YOU?

This isn't even something I realized til much later.  Years later.  When I became a mom and started meeting other moms--or even just being with my baby somewhere-- I had this subtle underlying notion of what a good mommy would be like and I think I was trying to be THAT --- it's pretty hard to feel good about making new connections--especially at such a vulnerable and raw time-- when you're not sure where "mommy" and "Emily" meet.  I remember I stopped swearing right after my oldest was born.  But, just before she was a year, I had become really close with a mom-- my first mommy friend I was sure I would have been friends with even if our girls weren't the same age and we weren't mommies-- and during a playdate, it slipped out-- "fuck"--- and she was right there with me-- it felt SO good.  Not to swear---but to not be worried about staying in 'mommy character'.  I was starting to just be Emily who is also a mother-- not Mommy Emily.

Having the right kind of moms around you can change everything.  If you have judgey ones--even if it's subtle ("Really?  We never had to go in so many times to put Charlie down, he knew it was time for bed because we had a good routine from the start.") it can drain you-- it can make you feel like a failure, or, at best simply not supported.  If you have the right moms around you?  It's like $10K worth of therapy.  Having moms around you who love you for who you are as a person-- not just as a mother, is priceless.

Feeling sweaty and gross and isolated and having this new huge role--arguably the most important role of your life-- AND having to make new friends?  HARD.  So, having one who knows you well can be a lifeline.  Having a friend who knew you before motherhood and reminds you with inside jokes or stories that you are still that person is a huge gift that first year postpartum especially.  But-- if you don't have that--- make sure the friends you are making you are making as your WHOLE self--bring yourself to the table.  In this way, you'll make true connections, not just be matchmakers for baby playdates.

Breastfeeding Sucks

I have been breastfeeding now for a running total of 34 months... I am on baby #3.

I don't like it.

And if you ask me at 4 AM… I fucking hate it.

Meanwhile I'm nursing while I write this post.

I've been putting off this post for several years. I just didn't really feel like hearing any feedback from it.  Also-- once I weaned the last two times I thought, "Oh, Emily, it was hard, sure--but it was amazing!  Breastfeeding was so special (sniff, sniff) and now it's over!"

I kind of hate breast-feeding. I'm committed to nursing past one year old, exclusively, no supplementing with formula of any kind. Let me be clear that I'm not proposing this choice for anyone else, but it's extremely important to me and I never considered formula to be an alternative for me or my children.

I was pregnant with my first child in 2007, and after taking a breastfeeding class, my husband and I decided that we would exclusively breast-feed her for two reasons… 1. It was free, and 2. in my research I read that the majority of women shrink back down to a cup size smaller than pre-pregnancy. Pre-pregnancy i was a DD, so I was hoping for a free 'breast reduction'. No joke. Obviously, this is a reason to breast-feed from a mom who hasn't had a baby and has no idea what she's talking about ;). Needless to say I have only grown in cup size with each pregnancy and breast-feeding time.

When I breastfed  my first baby, I didn't know anyone else who had ever breast-fed. At 27, I was the first of my friends to have a baby, and no one in my family had breast-fed that I knew. It was a torturous 6 weeks. Thank goodness my husband and I had taken the breast-feeding class and I had the phone number of a local lactation consultant. My husband called her in the first couple of days when I wouldn't stop crying every time I nursed-- especially at night.  I joke that she started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks old (10 hr stretches) because I would be so upset (crying and yelling in pain) that she was like, "Dude, I'll just see you when the sun comes up, Ma."

Anyway-- the lactation consultant came to the house and helped us and it was like a whole different experience... Then 8 hours went by and I was back to having no idea. I refused to call her again because I thought she'd think, "This woman is an idiot. I just showed her how to do all of this"... what kind of mother was I if I couldn't even figure out how to feed my baby right?   I thought of myself as a "crunchy" mom and wanted t be so in tune with my baby... This was not coming naturally and it hurt so bad. My husband learned from her class that the success of the breast-feeding mother can depend up to 90% on the husband's support.  He can make it or break it. It is in times like these when the mother is so upset and in pain and tired-- she just needs a cheerleader, a guide-- and her husband might not be able to bear seeing her like that anymore and ask her to please just use formula 'this time'. Grateful my husband took that class because despite my wishes he went and secretly called the lactation consultant again and she came back.

Even though it got easier after that six-week mark, and less painful, I never became one of those women who was in love with breast-feeding. In fact, it often felt like I really needed distraction (TV, iPad) to get through the nursing session. Pumping just made me feel worse, it made me feel anxious and it always felt extra-  never like it was replacing a session for some reason.

Since I have larger breasts, I couldn't do all the tricks people talked about at La Leche League  meetings. When you are an H cup, there is no pulling your boobs out of the top of the nursing tank. There's not even a nursing tank for you, I have tried them all. Nursing in public is a completely different ballgame when your breasts are twice the size of your baby's head.

When I had my second baby, the first two weeks were rough again, but it was better. But I still didn't love it. I wanted to be able to cuddle my babies without them wanting me to nurse them all the time. I felt jealous of my husband who got to just nuzzle her without having to give up a body part to do it.  (And here is my shout out to that guy-- who is so freaking amazing and woke up with me for every feeding for #1 just because he didn't want me to struggle alone-- 100% onboard and helpful and, just--well, the best.  Love you.)

I had mom friends I could tell were frustrated that I wouldn't just give formula. That I had no real right to complain when there was an option.  But I just didn't feel there was any other option that I liked. Breast-milk was what I wanted to give my child, and I wanted it to be mine, and I wanted the extra bonus of the baby having skin to skin time with me and the bonding.

Baby #3 is 6 months old and he nurses more than either of his sisters did. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to know that I can provide comfort this way no matter what. I know my husband wishes he had something as magical as lactating breasts. The only thing he can do is put in time and effort, no quick magic trick like mama.  This baby nurses 10 times a day and still wakes up 3 to 4 times a night to nurse, much more than my girls did. It makes me mad!  And then I feel guilty for being mad.  I'm the mommy, I'm supposed to be all love and peace and comfort… But I need at least 5 to 6 straight hours when my body is back under my jurisdiction-- to literally get ahold of myself and reset.  There is no break, though.

I recognize part of this is body image, and I'm not comfortable enough with my own body to be constantly covering it and uncovering. I don't even like getting dressed and undressed every day! Motherhood has changed my body all three times, and while I love looking at posts and articles about embracing our new bodies, I think it's hard for me to actually apply that wisdom.  I am proud of what my body has done 3 times--and  am grateful for it, but I still have a ways to go in terms of loving the entire inside and out.

Anyway, by the time I'm done nursing I will have done it for close to four years. I'm really proud of it. I'm SO fucking proud of it because I didn't like it but I knew it was the best choice, and I DID IT.  There have been hundreds of times I've had sweet moments while nursing, so the picture isn't me being mad every time I sit down to breastfeed, rather that it's not necessarily something I look forward to.  But I do love the special moments when they come-- and maybe they are even more sweet because I don't expect them.

Nursing my first daughter for 14 months empowered me--it was the hardest thing I ever did up til then--and it later gave me the courage to try for a natural birth and birth center with my second baby. Breastfeeding taught me a lesson that if I say I'll try something really hard, I likely won't end up doing it, but if I say I WILL, then it'll happen.   (i.e. I'm going to try to breastfeed vs. I AM going to breastfeed) etc.

I decided to write this, because I was talking to a friend of mine who is an advocate for breast-feeding and writes a lot about it. And I confessed to her that in truth I don't enjoy breastfeeding and she told me I should say that. That there are other women out there who tried to breastfeed, had some problems or didn't enjoy it and figured that it wasn't for them, and so they stopped. They only heard breastfeeding moms who talked about how wonderful it was, perhaps.

 So, this is for any other moms out there – I certainly hope I'm not the only one– that doesn't feel like Mother Earth when she nurses or like breast-feeding is her cup of tea… Here I am to say I feel the same way, and I'm doing it anyway.  The benefits are too good to pass up, both for my babies and my own body. Lower cancer rates, lower allergy and asthma rates, there are websites dedicated to listing the hundreds of benefits of breast-feeding, so I won't do that here. Just like my dental checkups, I don't enjoy the process, but it's important to my health.  As Amy Spangler says, "While breastfeeding may not seem the right choice for every parent, it is the best choice for every baby."

I could edit and edit--but as my page says--I aim for 80%, so I'm publishing now--before it back burners itself.  I'm sure I have forgotten a lot and not been as clear as I hoped--or even made my point as well as I liked--but here is the basic message, warts and all...

I am certainly not telling anyone what choice they should make for their family, every mother has to do what works best for her family… I'm just here to say that if your perceived notion of breast-feeding mothers is that it is for crunchy granola earth mothers who feel deeply connected and tout breast-feeding as "the most wonderful feeling in the world"... it isn't so for all of us.  Breast-feeding is the cornerstone of who I am as a mother, it is important to me, I will always advocate for it… But, I don't do it because it feels good, but because it feels right.

Halloween: Candy solution

I tell my kids to get as MUCH candy as they can--- then they come home, pick their favorite 10 pieces and put the rest in a  huge bowl for the "ghosts".

The ghosts come in the night and take the candy and leave each kid a small gift.

Edit 2014, sorting candy. The big bowl is for the ghosts.

Candy left for the ghosts, and in the morning...

They left presents!

Weekly Theme Dinners

We are a vegetarian family of 5-

Vegetarian recipes... I have posted some of my favs here on my blog-- everyone loves Southwestern Eggroll night in my family of five.

For me, everyone got less complainy when I solidified theme night-- so we do:

Monday- Soup night (lentil, split pea, black bean, matzo ball, barley, chili)

Tuesday- Taco Tuesdays  (make your own at the table)

Wed- Splitsies-- adult meal the kids hate for the adults, treat for kids (veggie nuggets, mini pizzas)

Thur- Brinner (they love eggs, bagels, hash browns, frittata, etc)

Fri- Stir Fryday (I coined this fun term-- we do brown rice, snap peas, broccoli, water chestnuts & peanuts in Whole Foods Teriyaki sauce)

Sat- Leftovers

Sun- Eggrolls or try a new recipe

Some substitutes I do are:  falafel pitas, pizza, pasta night, hors d'ouvres night

My first grader's  FAVORITE lunch by far, is an apple, cut in half, the core scooped out with a mellon baller, fill the holes with peanut butter, then rubber band it back together.  (Push in a few chocolate chips for a treat).

I'm going to try HARD to remember to do a blog post of each day for more detail.  Coming soon!

Hanukkah wish list and mapping out the 8 nights

This year, my oldest child can write!

Yay!

I had my 6 year old write out her wish list and her 3 year old sister's list.

Each person in the family gets their own page every year. I thought it would be fun to look back and see what people wished for in any given year.

But more importantly, I have a go to notebook to plan each year.

With 3 kids, cousins, friends, events, etc... The 8 nights can get chaotic and unorganized easily. It is very easy to overbuy too many gifts with eight nights, and also too easy to light the candles and then realize you're missing a gift for one child or something etc.

I made my own binder to make sure I had gifts or plans for everybody for each night.

One night every year is spent with our cousins, and one night is expressly for siblings giving a handmade gift.

We don't necessarily give a gift every night, one night might be an event we go to, or playing a Hanukkah game etc.

Below are my notebooks, hope they give you ideas to get organized for Hanukkah! They are still in the works, but you get the idea…

Making your own baby food

I could certainly write a whole lot more than I am writing here, but I get asked a lot about how I did solids, so I'm just going to post what I did with no commentary. It worked well for both of my older ones and I am doing it now with my youngest. I know some say to wait as long as possible, but I find this really helps me stick with breast-feeding longer – meaning past one year.

This is not advice! Simply sharing what I did personally because I get asked by friends and I thought it would be easier to write it down one time.

I start with avocado. I purée half of an avocado with some purified water in the food processor. Using a spoon and a glass bowl that has a plastic lid( so I can save it for later if need be) I start with that and see how much they are interested in eating.

I repeat that for the next three nights to make sure there is no reaction.

To begin, I only do it once a day. When I just had my first baby, I did it at lunch time. Now I do it during dinner so we can all eat together because baby notices us eating and is interested.

The next food I do is organic butternut squash. Pick one up at the grocery store, cut off the stem and slice it lengthwise down the middle. Scoop out the seeds, and place it face down on a cookie sheet – I use stoneware. Roast it at 400° for 45 minutes.  Allow it to cool, and scoop out the inside. You can either just mash it really really well, or you can purée it with a small amount of purified water-or breastmilk.

Repeat for the next three nights to make sure there is no reaction.

I like to do the same food for four days in a row so I can be sure there's no reaction. The first time you try it, you might want to do it during the day in case you need to go to the pediatrician. I have never had a problem, though.

Making and storing:

I use silicone ice trays that I got at bed bath and beyond. There are 12 cubes per tray and each cube is 1 ounce. For instance, when I make butternut squash there is a lot especially if it's a big squash, so I spoon it into the cubes and pack it down. Once it is frozen, I pop the cubes out and put them in Ziploc freezer bags. Each freezer bag holds about eight cubes. I've then label the bag with what it is. This also makes an easy way when you want to start mixing solids, like one cube of butternut squash mixed with one cube peas, etc. I never mix until they have tried both separately.

When starting, I offer 2 to 3 ounces- 2-3 cubes.

With my first baby I started with: prunes, avocado, banana, sweet potato, butternut squash, broccoli, applesauce, green beans, pumpkin. I tried to roast most things. Applesauce is the only thing I buy – and I buy the whole foods organic brand.  With her, at seven months I introduced peas, spinach, grapes, carrots,… And I was giving 1 ounce at breakfast, 3 ounces at lunch, and 4 ounces at dinner.

My middle baby was a voracious eater and by about nine months old, she was eating 3/4 cup at lunch and another 3/4 cup at dinner and still nursing 4-5 times in 24 hours. With her, sometimes I put cinnamon in her food to help with digestion.

At nine months, a few combinations I was giving her looked like this:
-orzo pasta, mixed with sweet potatoes and cinnamon

-Black beans and avocado

-blueberries, rice milk, banana, apple sauce, Cheerios on the side

-orzo, bananas, and cinnamon

My kids took to the solids easily, so by seven months I was able to give them organic puffs, which I got at whole foods.

Now, I have just started solids with my littlest baby, and I haven't been as consistent as I was because we're so busy, I'm just nursing more. But I do give solids at dinner and he really seems to love the butternut squash.

Good luck!

Edit:  I will try to post some pictures of my ice cube trays and cubes, etc.

Ice cube trays- http://www.amazon.com/Tovolo-Perfect-Cube-Tray-Dark/dp/B000QIU7X6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380498430&sr=8-1&keywords=silicone+ice+cube+trays

Birthday calendar

I'll admit I like apps as much as the next gal, but I like doing the birthday reminders this way better .

Also, it gives a chance for my kids to read it and decide to make birthday cards. 

I do the full name and the birth year so we always know how old someone will be. I also don't do anyone that I don't really plan on sending a card to or calling, I don't just do every single person I know.

Printed on card stock, cut, punch a hole, hang.

I keep the file so I can always add someone and reprint that month. We also decided to honor special people who have passed away and include the year they died. Grandparents etc.

In an effort to protect people, I can't really show full pictures of it, but you get the idea.

Some fun 'extras' you may want to include-
Cousins Day- July 24
Siblings Day- April 10

Rosh Hashanah tradition

I had this idea, so we started a new tradition this year and I really love it!

On Rosh Hashanah, each person in the family gets 4 apples and a dipper of honey.

We go around the table and hold one apple high in the air declaring something we will do to be a better person in the new year.  Once declared, dip the apple in honey... Once you take a bite you have made The Rosh Hashanah Promise, you must stick to it!  (The honey helps with the sticking.) ;)

We all go around til we have each made 4 promises for the New Year.

It was a big hit!

Each person got this plate of yumminess...

Yum!

She loves her local honey!

Even the baby got in on the tradition... But don't worry, we made the girls rid themselves of all traces of honey before touching him!  There should be a Rosh Hashanah PSA for babies and honey!

I am loving this tradition!

L'shana tova u'metuka!

* Honey should NOT be consumed by children under 1 year old.   Infant botulism can occur when a child ingests spores of Clostridium botulinum bacteria, which are found in dirt and dust and can contaminate honey. This illness typically affects babies who are between 3 weeks and 6 months old, but they're susceptible to it until their first birthdays.

.

Clip Chart (Behavior Chart)

Clothespin for each kid to be clipped to the side of the chart-- begin each day on green:

1 pieces of paper
Laminate it
Hang it
Use it
Hope it works

(If they get to purple, the reward will be different depending on what we can offer at bedtime each night--likely that kid will get to come downstairs for an extra book with Mommy or Daddy all by themselves)

5 weekday lunches (vegetarian) + Snacks

I have 3 children.... one in 1st grade, one in preschool that goes til 12:30pm, and a baby.
I don't know about you, but by the time we go to make lunches it's VERY late, and our braisn are fogged up and it just seems SO HARD.
I had some help from my friend Mimi (holla!) and I've decided this is the easiest way to get the lunches done.  SAME LUNCHES week to week!  So-- here's the 'final' chart.
The school is Kosher and the preschool is Kosher AND nut-free, so MWF lunches are Kosher AND nut free, Tue/Thur are Kosher.

Here's hoping for an easier year of lunch-making!

-Emily

Lunches & Snacks

Kosher & some are nut free

Monday Lunch x2 o    Cucumber and cream cheese sammie o    sliced carrots with hummus/ranch o    sliced peaches o    Pretzels Monday Snack o    Fruit strip + almonds o    Homemade trail mix

Tuesday Lunch o    Avocado salad with black beans and corn o    Tortilla chips o    Fruit strip o    Grapes Tuesday Snack o    Banana o    Granola Bar

Wednesday Lunch x2 o    Pasta with ranch or olive oil & parmesan o    Carrot sticks o    Veggie straws/pretzels o    Craisins Wednesday Snack o    Rice cakes & sunflower seeds o    Z-bars

Thursday o    Peanut butter loaded apple w/rubber band o    Grapes o    Pretzels o    Fruit Strip Thursday Snack o    Trail Mix o    Granola Bar

Friday x2 o    Hard boiled egg o    Rice cake o    Veggie Straws o    Fruit Strip o    ½ Banana Friday Snack o    Granola Bar o    Apple

Extra ideas: o    Cucumbers o    Chickpea Salad o    Banana o    Berry bitty salad (mix of organic berries) o    Egg salad o    Picnic orzo salad o    Avocado roll o    Oatmeal cookies o    365 brand tater tots o    Sweet potato fries o    Wonton wraps o    Mason jar salad o    Tapenade & chips o    Zucchini bites/cakes

*Trail mix:  peanuts, chocolate chips, sunflower seeds

It takes a village

I feel like when most people say "it takes a village" , what they really mean is:

"I'll point out what you are doing wrong."

In my 20s, in my 30s…

I had an epiphany today…

I realized my twentysomething self would be exhausted doing the things/living in average day of my  thirtysomething  self.

 And yet, my thirtysomething self would feel the exact same way about trying to complete the tasks and average day of my twenty something self...

Interesting... And worth more pondering, but I'm too tired tonight.

            30s me                                                     20s me

Organizing your pictures into albums

I like to make ONE album to document 12 months.
It doesn't have to run Jan-Dec-- just be 12 months long.

I have been using Shutterfly since 2003, and I love it.  It now has all my pictures saved since I got engaged almost 10 years ago.  Wedding, honeymoon, all 3 kids, pregnancies, everything.
I have also spent some time scanning in old photos over the years.
I now have 127 albums in Shutterfly.

In 2008, I started saving everything by month only-- so "July 2013", "April 2009", etc.  A friend pointed out it may even be more efficient to save them as "2013 July" so the years are all together.

Anyway---here is a video of my formula.  It'll take a lot of effort the first time you do a year-long photo book, but then you will be so organized.  The other thing I love about photobooks is that Shutterfly saves them FOREVER.  So if your kids grow up and want a copy, you just order another one.  Or g-d forbid you lose all your albums due to water damage, fire, etc-- here they ALL are--stored for you for free, forever.  Or-- if grandma loves the photobook, boom--just order her a copy.

My general formula is:
-8 pages per month
-Average of 4 pictures per page (less for special pictures, more for ones that aren't as important)
-You'll get 96 pages to cover 12 months, about 400 pictures to document your year
-Wait til photobooks go on sale for 20% off or more-- shipping is usually free for $30 and up (SHIP30)

Watch my video of showing you my most recent photo book:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTePtQoycb0&sns=em

I also get family pictures taken once a year-- usually toward the end of the school year, and usually in the park or on the beach.  Make sure mom & dad are in some of these, DON'T just take pics of your kids!  Get a FAMILY pic-- you'll cherish those in years to come.

I order the best one in a canvas print and hang that up in the living room each year.

Southwestern eggrolls

I love trying new recipes, although I don't have time to try as many new ones as I'd like.
Still, the best recipes are ones everyone likes, which in a family of five I can only imagine might get more tough.
This is a recipe both my older girls like, my husband loves, and I love.
It's labor-intensive, so I double it.

Ideally, I make the filling the day before, and then wrap them the next day for dinner.
I don't think I have very picky eaters, but both my girls are adventurous with food in a different way. My older one will try any fruit or vegetable you give her. My younger one will not eat many fruits or vegetables, but will try most exotic dishes.

Anyway, this was adapted from something I found on Pinterest:

Baked Southwestern eggrolls:

Ingredients:
16 ounces frozen organic corn thawed
Two cans black beans rinsed and drained
10 ounce package fresh organic whole leaf spinach, chopped finely in food processor
2 cups shredded Mexican cheese
Two cans diced green chilies drained
One bunch scallions, chopped 
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Two packages eggroll wrappers, about 48 total, in produce section

In large bowl combine everything but eggroll wrappers. Mix well to blend. Lay eggroll wrapper out on a work surface so that one of the corners is pointing toward you. Using a 2 to 3 tablespoons scoop, scoop it into the middle fold the two sides over the bottom up and roll it into an egg roll, wet to seal.

Repeat with remaining rappers.
Preheat oven to 425. Using Pam, cover a baking sheet. Place the egg rolls on this baking sheet and spray the top with Pam. Bake for about 8 to 10 minutes until lightly browned, turn them over and bake another 8 minutes.  Serve with salsa.

Salsa:

4 fine ripened tomatoes
3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
One small yellow onion
1/2 cup fresh chopped cilantro
Juice of one lime

1 jalapeño  pepper
Blend in food processor till desired consistency adding tomatoes last

Birthday Guest Book

I started this last year for each of my kids.
At their birthday party I set this out.
The idea is to have this one notebook, and whoever they are with on their birthday signs this book.
It seems to only use about three pages per year, so it might last a really long time!

Taboo

You know those things you are not supposed to talk about to other moms?
Like, there's the taboo of judging other moms' parenting – which by the way plenty of moms feel they can do and then just throw in a, "Oh, I'm  sure whatever you're doing is fine! " as if that protects them from the previous 5 minute lecture on how co-sleeping is unhealthy for the child's independence.  (All this while her kid runs around the playground hitting people... Independently.)

For as much as moms share, there are certain things you just aren't supposed to say. Actually, there are the things you are not supposed to say but they are said anyway, and then there are the things you are really not supposed to say.

Some of the things you aren't supposed to say but they are said anyway are things like:

-oh, that's weird, my little Jaiden slept through the night 11 hours at a stretch by 3 weeks old

-Wow, your poor husband.  Hm, I was totally dying to have sex, even as they were sewing me up!

-you're doing it wrong.

Okay, so no one really ever comes out and says that last one Word for Word, but it's what all that shitty banter boils down to.

But there is one topic that I have found in my last six years of being a mother that is absolutely positively must be kept quiet and not be  shared.   The biggest taboo of all is…

Having a wonderful, equal, Often – does – more – than- you... Partner.

I cannot tell you how many times I've been in a circle of moms who have been talking about the lameness of their husbands when it comes to the children or the house. A few times, in the beginning, I shared also, but all I really had was, "yeah... Seth takes a really long time to do the dishes. "But guess what? I don't think I've done the dishes more than three times since we have been married. He also most definitely did more diapers than me with our first born. He actually said to me "if you get to do all the feedings, then I get to have my own thing. Don't change any diapers, that's going to be my thing. "I love these stories about him, but I kind of just get hatred from other moms if I want to share them.

Why can't I share this stuff? Is it the "baby sleeping through the night "of husbands? Is it bragging?

I felt bad a few weeks ago at the playground when another mom told me that her husband couldn't get her newborn to sleep. We had babies around the same time. What do I say? "Oh Seth is so great with him, sometimes when I just can't get him down, I'll hand him to Seth and he always goes down!"

I feel like the only talk about husbands that happens is trash talk. Maybe that's harsh for the legitimate venting that goes on, I get it, it's not like my husband doesn't annoy me, he certainly does. But not by being lame or not being able to handle the 3 kids just as well as I do.

Maybe those of us with these great partners should start speaking up. Maybe if we do, the "idiot dad" thing will disappear.  Because, the other taboo thing that I could never share is this: I think the reason some (I said some, not all!) guys are like that is because of us moms. We want things done a certain way, or dare I say it, we want validation that we are the only ones who can do it, it affirms us.

I want to be able to share how great my husband is, he deserves it. When he stood there on the playground that day, he was pushing some kids – one of them was our daughter – on a tire swing. He listened as the woman said that her husband couldn't comfort her son, and he listened as I said nothing back. I felt bad. Here he is working hard to do his part, and it's like a taboo we can't speak about to other couples. Here's a guy who got  up and sat with me at every feeding the first four months of our firstborn's life, just because he wanted to be available in case i needed somethng.

Maybe this is more common than I really know, that would be great. Maybe everybody is just as nervous as me to NOT complain about their partner.

And now o flip the entire argument I made, NOR should him doing dishes, bath time, etc deserve some kind of award!  No one responds with awe if a mother does these things-- it's just parenting.

At the beginning of last school year, I met a few new moms during a volunteer project-- I was pregnant and they were asking me how I was doing.  I really felt a connection and so I started to over-open up... you know that feeling when you realize too late you should have held back?  Yep.  I could see their faces start to turn into surprise and then shock.  "You don't do the dishes? ... that poor guy, you've got to do more!... wow, he's needs to come to my house"... but even as the mood turned "jokey" you could see they thought something must be wrong with me.  Why wasn't I doing all the cleaning up?  Why wasn't I getting no sleep in my pregnancy-- clearly I expected too much of my partner. And I actually felt that way for the rest of the day.

But... our family works-- our life works.  I'm not here to say everyone should do it this way-- but I am here to say, that just because it's isn't old school traditional, doesn't mean he's a saint or I'm a slacker.

Apologies for the disjointed stream of consciousness... I am the mother of three, one of which is a newborn and it's a miracle I was even able to get more than 4 sentences down.

To Do/ Done Chart

I'm taking a risk posting this, don't you think?
I'm a little bit chart happy.

But charts comfort me. They also fill in for my parenting a little bit. The chart tells them to do things in a much more fun way then I would, and it's actually more likely to get done.

So I came up with this chart idea after I did that movie night chart.

I am sick of repeating myself 1 million times a day and of the whining. But this chart actually got them a little bit excited. They know they have to complete all those things by the end of the day and as they complete each one they move it down to the "Done" section. Once all the little squares are down there, they've done everything for the day... No nagging, no surprises.  I know people say it over and over again, but I do find that when my kids know what's expected of them, they are a little less whiny.

While I was at it I decided to do one for my husband, and one for me. There are so many things we want to do, and we never do them because there isnt time. I figured if we each had a chart of things we wanted to complete in a week, it would be a more fun way to hold ourselves accountable. Weekly chart seems to make more sense for us, and daily charts seem to make more sense for the kids.

And yes, I even gave the baby a chart. More so because I felt superstitious leaving him out of the family project, but I think it's cute.

First I just printed the charts on the printer, and then I laminated each one. Laminators are amazing and you can get the one I have a target for $25. I use it all the time. The brand is Scotch. Next I made little squares all 1" x 1" and then over a couple of days thought of 5 - 12 tasks for each family member. I printed that up and laminated that. Then I cut it all up, and used little square Velcro stickies on all of them. Tacked them all up by the front door, and done!

Print charts and add velcro
(make sure it's all one type, and then the squares are the opposite type)

Cut the squares

Everyone's chart by the front door