At this time

Note to self...

Don't try to to make your life something it isn't only because of what other lives look like immediately surrounding you.

It would be like skipping around in a book instead of reading the story as it unfolds.

I have 3 young children. I have friends with no kids... With 1 kid just starting the parenting gig... With kids way older than mine.  I can't be on their chapter, I need to be in my chapter.  My chapter has 

Title free time, no nights out, lots of mess, wiping and exhaustion. I can't be bogged down with pressure to be glamorous while simultaneously always having clean laundry or helping with homework, then breezing out for a drinking night out with girlfriends.   For me, it's too much.  I don't have the resources to make that work without feeling burned out.

For many years I tried to hang on things I did before parenthood...not to lose myself..  But, for me anyway... The journey of being pregnant and birthing three PEOPLE was exactly that... A recreation of identity.  I know more now than I did at 27 when I became a mother.  Of course I am different... If I wasn't i would have failed to grow.

I'll embrace this chapter, for, as long as it feels (8 years running so far), I will be in a new chapter soon enough.  No need to rush and try to live two chapters at once.  Let me embrace where I am, what I have, and what life is NOW.  Then I'll see what the next chapter's got for me. ;)

Notes from Facebook

Talking with my friend tonight helped me remember some good tips from the last 7+ years of parenthood... pasting here for future tipping... :)
Would love tocome back sometimes and turn this into a true post-- but for now(and in case that doesn't happen), I don't want to lose the tidbits...

On sleep...

I'd leave a little TINY lamp on, and put a bunch of audio books on an iPod dock ona loop-- and leave her in there

Let her know she DOES not have to sleep--but it is time to be quiet and read or rest

• this week I noticed R. winds down faster if I leave his door wide open-- i tell him, "I promise I'm coming back but I have too__________ (check on Teagan/go pee pee)" I always come back but not til after he is asleep-- I keep the promise and pat him

and R does better if I am upbeat and silly before I go-- not quiet

So, I might eat his toes (though the crib bars) or sneak my hand in to tickle his chin... ask him "What was the most fun today? Playing with Tali? Eating yogurt? Did you play with play doh?" and take him thru the day

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  i wind him UP a little bit so he doesnt feel like Im pressuring him to sleep and then I show I'll be back real quick (I am back, just not too quick) and I make it a point to come back before he is asleep at least twice a week---another thing that worked with Zoe--- I'd put all her laundry away but not engage her-- so I was in the room, singing to myself but just doing tasks
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On kids and blogging:

I went to a Parent Connect this morning on the kids' blogfolios in the school (every kid has their own blog and the idea is to make a "portfolio" of work from K-8 that they take to high school-- it helps getting into magnet schools that are top rated etc)

they talked about how if you can't read email, navigate the internet, etc-- you are Illiterate

the definition of Literacy changes with technology

just reading words on a page isnt sufficient to be literate--- which means you can't be a good communicator-- which is the basis of all education

she was saying how getting family and friends to comment (quality comment-- which is another cool thing, every student creates a Comment Guidelines outlining their requirements for comments-- it's all part of learning to be a Digital Citizen) motivates them to write and create

but I like that they dont just pretend the internet is a separate thing-- they TEACH them "Digital Citizenship"... making them literate

it was really a good talk

and she (4th/5th grade Language Arts teacher, see her blog here) gave some examples of why writing on their blogs is wonderful-- they cite things by hyperlinking them (versus a footnote) making it more credible-- and people can comment, so they know it isnt a paper that ends up in the trash-- but that people might respond to it and share their perspective which opens their learning-- AND-- makes them WANT to write more. It also helps them find THEIR voice.

Like most comments are "Good job!" or "That's awesome" which is useless... the idea is for the writer to see their work ina new way which makes the full circle of everyone gaining something new

and she also said "Connect Don't Correct"

so-- don't use a comment to correct someone's errors-- the reason you are there is to make a connection and correcting will come with time

anyway-- I just share this stuff because it's so interesting and I feel like I stored away nuggets when Zoe was tiny and remember them and it just kind of plants a seed for one little facet of parenthood-- it helps!