Disappointed

Originally posted in 2010

Disappointed

I am never sure how much to reveal on this blog. I want to write honestly and openly, because, frankly, it's more interesting and I love when I read someone I really relate to. At the same time, I might not be ready to say these things out loud, you know? If the people I write about read this, I might not be ready for that. Oh, well.
I am disappointed.
I have fun going above and beyond for people sometimes. I just made my father-in-law 24 greeting cards made of different pictures of his grandchildren, then I fashioned him a stationery box to keep them in. I did it because the last 3 birthdays in the house we got the same notepaper. I thought it would be perfect. I will be mailing this tomorrow. Will he even use them? I don't know. I am really proud of them. I did a similar thing and sent it to a friend 2 weeks ago and as far as I know, the box hasn't even been opened. Haven't head either way.
The thing is, I get so excited. I get an idea, and unlike many of us who let the idea slip past, I want to do something IMMEDIATELY.
When we were planning PJ's Bachelor Party, I commented how confusing it was to plan that and a 3 year old's birthday party simultaneously--- PJ was likely to get a Cupcake Decorating Bachelor Party. Matt, a friend and groomsman, remarked that that actually sounded fun. So, after Zoe's party, I sent him a little cupcake decorating kit with 4 cupcakes. They were so appreciated! It made me feel so good!
Or birthdays... none of my friends remembered Zoe's birthday. I know they don't have kids, but... she has an email address-- I have a Facebook where I posted it and other random people said it to her--, she is my love, my daughter--they are my close friends. You bet your ass my kids will be sending theirs birthday cards if they ever procreate. (At least the first few years when it's really emotional for the parents.)
My mother--who instilled the very "say thank you!" thing in me, never says it to me or my husband. He cleans up after her when she visits, or I make us a meal or help her with something... nothin'.
But... the point of giving isn't to be thanked. I know that. But, I guess I can't detach from it yet. It feels crappy to give and then... silence.