Originally posted- Friday, April 15, 2011
A Serious Parenting Issue
There's a serious parenting issue that no one is talking about--really, no one. I haven't seen anyone raise this issue in any magazine or parenting forum I have come across.
This is of huge concern to our children's welfare and sense of security.
I ran into this problem today for the 3rd time in my mothering career and I am sick of it.
Toy companies are screwing with my kid's emotional well-being.
I buy a lovey for my baby and when it gets lost 6 months later, you have "re-designed" it. Stupid. I'll bet Tom Hanks in BIG wouldn't let this happen.
I learned my lesson with Zoe. When I bought a lovey for Teagan, I got 2 at once. But yesterday she lost one. I needed another backup. I schlepped back to Kohl's this morning, and there it was: the lovey I bought last Spring... "spruced up". ARE YOU NUTS?
When Zoe chews an ear off of her Pooh lovey, I have to take it in the middle of the night, compare it to Backup Lovey, and chew it's ear off in the SAME way. I have to make sure I rotate them evenly--keeping them equally disgusting and haggard--- and hide Backup Lovey in a place she will NEVER find it.
And then Carter's goes and redesigns Teagan's motherfucking Lovey. Are you kidding me?
See side picture:
This new one doesn't have polka dotted ears. It doesn't say Love Me in block letters, it says Mommy Loves Me... in cursive!
I guess I should be happy they both have green bows around their necks, but one is light green, the other is pea. One trunk sticks up, one swings to the left. One has hot pink hands, one only has arms.
One has a fuzzy face, one has a "shaved" face. I could go 10-12 more but I get too upset.
Toy companies: Um... don't you make things for... babies? So, don't you realize babies recognize this different shit even before the parents, therefore making us look like Betrayers to our children?
Get your shit together, Corporate Baby Companies.
Parents-- warn your pregnant friends. Tell them to put down that 1996 copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting and go buy 10 of the exact same Lovey. (6 for you, 4 to sell on eBay to the mom who will pay anything because her baby is up all night and can't sleep without his lovey-- and when she gave him the new lovey he just got even more traumatized).
World Peace starts with a kid who sleeps though the night.
Get your Lovies in order, people.
This is of huge concern to our children's welfare and sense of security.
I ran into this problem today for the 3rd time in my mothering career and I am sick of it.
Toy companies are screwing with my kid's emotional well-being.
I buy a lovey for my baby and when it gets lost 6 months later, you have "re-designed" it. Stupid. I'll bet Tom Hanks in BIG wouldn't let this happen.
I learned my lesson with Zoe. When I bought a lovey for Teagan, I got 2 at once. But yesterday she lost one. I needed another backup. I schlepped back to Kohl's this morning, and there it was: the lovey I bought last Spring... "spruced up". ARE YOU NUTS?
When Zoe chews an ear off of her Pooh lovey, I have to take it in the middle of the night, compare it to Backup Lovey, and chew it's ear off in the SAME way. I have to make sure I rotate them evenly--keeping them equally disgusting and haggard--- and hide Backup Lovey in a place she will NEVER find it.
And then Carter's goes and redesigns Teagan's motherfucking Lovey. Are you kidding me?
See side picture:This new one doesn't have polka dotted ears. It doesn't say Love Me in block letters, it says Mommy Loves Me... in cursive!
I guess I should be happy they both have green bows around their necks, but one is light green, the other is pea. One trunk sticks up, one swings to the left. One has hot pink hands, one only has arms.
One has a fuzzy face, one has a "shaved" face. I could go 10-12 more but I get too upset.
Toy companies: Um... don't you make things for... babies? So, don't you realize babies recognize this different shit even before the parents, therefore making us look like Betrayers to our children?
Get your shit together, Corporate Baby Companies.
Parents-- warn your pregnant friends. Tell them to put down that 1996 copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting and go buy 10 of the exact same Lovey. (6 for you, 4 to sell on eBay to the mom who will pay anything because her baby is up all night and can't sleep without his lovey-- and when she gave him the new lovey he just got even more traumatized).
World Peace starts with a kid who sleeps though the night.
Get your Lovies in order, people.
No comments:
Post a Comment