The Trick to Getting Things Done after Having Babies

I never wanted to be the person who says the things that annoyed me before I was a parent.  "Just wait til..."  or "You think this is hard, wait til..." or "Oh, you think you're busy?"  (Honestly, when childfree friends post on Facebook about their busy day it reminds me of the great divide between us... a day packed with errands and calls and meetings, whatever... it's just a very different kind of busy, I'll leave it at that.)

Anyway-- I am determined to accomplish things-- and I am a bit obsessive compulsive about it... when I get an idea, I feel that if I don't spring to action within 24 hours, I'll never do it.

ALSO--- we are a family of 5 on a  teacher's salary, so we are not people who can hire someone to do anything-- we try to figure almost everything out ourselves if we can.  While that is time-consuming and sometimes frustrating, it reinforces that there is very little people cannot do themselves.

Put these things together and mix in three kids 6 & under and you are faced with a certain amount of obstacles to accomplishing things.

So... want to accomplish things with these obstacles?

My tips:

1.  Do everything late at night.  What you lose in sleep you gain in time spent on a project.  We painted our girls' room in 2 hours flat from 10pm-midnight-- gave them a  movie night so they were out of the room.  I don't even know how we could have done that with them awake.  Don't do it every night obviously, but we think it's worth the missed sleep to get a project done quickly and efficiently.  It's also kind of cool because the kids wake up and it seems magical.  Side note:  Our neighbor came out twice thinking we were getting robbed at 2am-- nope, just doing projects.  :)

2.  Lower your standards.  If I perfected every thing-- painting, organizing, making an annual family album, sewing curtains, creating budgets, mapping vacations, couponing, planning birthday celebrations, even folding laundry... I'd accomplish maybe 1/4 of what I do.  Not even perfection--- I just go with 'pretty good'.  Dragging out a project starts to make me feel shackled and sad.  I want to be able to do a decent job and then go have fun.  It also keeps me motivated to start a new one... there no feeling of dread about projects because I know I can work quickly and not be bogged down by perfect standards.

That's really it---- those two things and you can conquer projects galore with kids. :)

Letter from Maya Angelou

Read this and loved it for my own kids, so I'm sharing:

In 1945, weeks after graduating from high school and with no support from the child's father, 17-year-old Maya Angelou gave birth to her only son. Two months later, desperate for independence, she moved out of her mother's home, found accommodation of her own, and began to raise her son. Over the next 70 years, Maya Angelou achieved more than most as a celebrated and award-winning author, poet, educator, dramatist, actress, filmmaker, and activist. The first of her seven autobiographies, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, is considered a classic.

Eight years ago, she wrote a letter of advice to her younger self. It was reprinted in the book, What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self.

(Source: What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self; Image: Maya Angelou in 1993, via Wikipedia.)

Dear Marguerite,

You’re itching to be on your own. You don’t want anybody telling you what time you have to be in at night or how to raise your baby. You’re going to leave your mother’s big comfortable house and she won’t stop you, because she knows you too well.

But listen to what she says:

When you walk out of my door, don’t let anybody raise you—you’ve been raised.

You know right from wrong.

In every relationship you make, you’ll have to show readiness to adjust and make adaptations.

Remember, you can always come home.

You will go home again when the world knocks you down—or when you fall down in full view of the world. But only for two or three weeks at a time. Your mother will pamper you and feed you your favorite meal of red beans and rice. You’ll make a practice of going home so she can liberate you again—one of the greatest gifts along with nurturing your courage, that she will give you.

Be courageous, but not foolhardy.

Walk proud as you are,
Maya

Unsolicited Advice

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  Two unsolicited pieces of advice ----

  
  

  1. Buy as FEW toys as you can. Like, none if you can. I resent 90% of the toys we have. They very rarely get played with. My kids seem to much better just exploring whatever happens to already exist in and out of our house. (As a parent, my favorite gifts are books and clothes/shoes-- my oldest is really into series right now and loves when she gets a new book in the series she hasn't read--- clothes save us time and money! Toys, however, seem to only get played with for 2-3 days and then forgotten/)

  
  

  (and we have much fewer toys than the average house)
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  2. Enjoy this time--it's as uncomplicated (not easy, it is NOT easy-- babies and toddlers are draining and intense) as they get. These girls are so fucking layered and frustrating while I love them more and more- each year, they grow a TINY bit further away from me and certainly more their OWN person than MY baby. As it should be-- they should be more independent each year. But these first 2-3 years are the years you know them best... then they start knowing themselves best... and you know less and less!

Happy Father's Day, Seth

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, SETH!

I always say it's better to grow up with no example than a bad example... I created my own idea of what a dad should be--- a mish mash of friends' dads and TV dads... and now I get to be married to that wonderful mish mash. Seth, thanks for being a dad that's knee deep in the everydayness of parenthood with me. Thanks for getting it.

I complain far too much, but we haven't had ONE night apart from each other since becoming parents--- and maybe 10 date nights in those 7 years--- who would blame either of us for crankiness? Thanks for doing life with me. And thanks for being -- to our kids-- the type of dad I wanted.

I love you so, so much.

You are the best possible dad for this family and do so much for all of us, and much of it is the stuff no one wants to do.

You’re my favorite person in the world even if I’m hard on you. (Sorry.)

I love you.

Love,

Emily

Veggie wraps

These are my new favorite. It's just homemade hummus with shredded purple cabbage, carrots, and kale.

Hummus:

In crockpot, cook dried chickpeas for 3 hours

Using about 1/3 of them, put slowly in food processor, the. Add about 1/4 cup oil, much salt (keep tasting), 5 garlic cloves, 1/8 cup water... I really do this by Tate each time and never measure any if this, it's a guess.  Hummus should be served at room temp.

Wraps are the in the deli section

In the wrap, spread  hummus all the way across to your desired thickness (this will also work as the glue)

Add veggies that you've shredded in the food processor , wrap it on up

My kids don't like all the veggies, so I just make me pick at least ine to add: Orange, purple, or green? I ask. :)

Make the Ordinary Come Alive

I read this today and hope to remember it every day-- I just love it.



“Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.” 
― William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents