Moms and their sons

In general I hate gender stereotypes... but perhaps the one that irks me most is the kid-to-parent gender stereotypes...

Dads:
That little girl will have you wrapped around her finger, Daddy!
She's daddy's little princess!

Moms:
That's boys for ya!
Boys love their mommies!


...and on and on.

I have two older girls... and when we found out the third was a boy (we were shocked) I cannot tell you how many times we each heard these two things:

My husband heard:  Oh!  You must be so happy to finally get your boy!

I heard:  Oh!  Oh!  Oh!  It's so different.  Little boys really love their mothers.

We were so offended.  Especially when people said this in front of my oldest who was almost 6.  Um.. she can hear you and she is smart, you idiot adults.

Anyway-- 16 months have gone by since my son was born, and while I hold firm against the stereotyping (my son seems to love Daddy just as much as he loves me)... I think I've figured something out.

I'm not sure if it's the case for other people-- and unless you have one of each gender it may be hard to evaluate--but, for me...

This is my first relationship with a male that began with his very birth.  He is brand new-- I am watching what will be a human man begin from seed.  It's uncomplicated.  It's pure love and growth.

Of course I am also watching my daughters grow, and it's miraculous-- but perhaps I am more focused on righting the wrongs from my childhood with them-- since it's easier to see myself in them.  I was with myself at their ages.  I remember being in 2nd grade like my oldest is now and crying everyday in a new school missing my mom.  Perhaps I am too focused on their experiences and with my son, too focused on his just... existence.

Anyway-- this occurred to me in the shower.  Where most things occur to me-- annoying since I have no pen & paper in there.  ;)  But I can see how some women might want to label that relationship "more special" because of the awe of watching someone of the opposite sex before they really are any gender at all --- that's the real amazing part.

Personally, all three of my kids are so different-- as babies and now.  And since I've seen one too many families of 5 where the youngest seems to get away with everything-- I rally try to remember not to let my son off the hook more than I did with the girls.  The last thing I want to do is raise an entitled, arrogant man.

And it hits me... are those mothers the ones who facilitate the growth of that type of man?